The... Occupant

Six Sentence Sunday 2-27-11

2011-02-27T06:00:00.001-05:00

Happy Anniversary to Six Sentence Sunday! What a fun site!

This week, we'll take six sentences from my first paranormal romance 'Passing Whispers'. It's been a year since Kate lost her husband during a robbery. Not only has he come back from the grave to say goodbye, he's trying to help her find a new love. He encourages Kate to go on a date with a co-worker, and promises that he'll stay home and watch a movie on TV.

"Which movie? Let me guess…Ghost, Sixth Sense or Beetlejuice?”
No, he said, putting his hands on his hips defiantly. City Of Angels, actually.
“Why? Does that movie portray the world of spirits in a way that’s closer to the truth than the others?”
No, because Meg Ryan looks really hot in scrubs.
She laughed and threw a towel at him. Then she went into her closet and slipped on a pair of high heels.

An Apology To My Stuff

2011-02-24T13:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Stuff:

I don't know how to break this to you... but we're moving again. I know. I know. How many times can one person move? You're right. How many times have I promised that it was the last time? All I can say is that I'm sorry.

Some of you have been with me since I was a teenager. Let's not try to calculate exactly how long that is. Some of you have stuck with me through 28 years of marriage, the birth of three children and three grand-children. I will reward your senority with extra bubble-wrap. I know you're old. And tired. I am, too.

I know some of you carry the scars of sharing a life with me. Cracks, chips, wrinkles, fading and yellowing. I share your pain. Children have written on you with crayons and magic marker. Dropped you and used you for lowly tasks un-befitting of your value to me. I swear, I swooped you up every time I saw the kids using you as a kitty dish or ashtray.

And I haven't forgotten the brave stuff that didn't make it through the moves. I shudder when I recall the roughness of the past moving men. The poor items left behind in the old places or the moving vans. My heart still aches for the stuff I lost to my ex-husband in the divorce. If I ever start dating a burglar, I assure you, I'll have him rob the ex's place and get you all back where you really belong.

Please try to have positive thoughts. Every time we move, you all get a good cleaning. I find new places to show you off. I reminisce of the day I got you. What could be better than that? And, as with every move, there will be new stuff. They may be shinier and brighter, but they will never replace you.

Please... forgive me. I will watch over the young bucks helping me tomorrow, and scream at each and every one of them to be careful, every five minutes. I already have extra tubes of glue in case of emergencies.

Stick with me, guys. We're a team. I can't promise this will be the last move... but at least I'm not old enough to be in a nursing home. Yet.

Six Sentence Sunday 2-20-11

2011-02-20T06:00:00.006-05:00

Hello again! I'm so excited to be part of Six Sentence Sunday! It's been a lot of fun so far! This excerpt is from 'LeeAnn Vaughn: A Way With Murder' again.

Last week, we met Arnold Longfield, a despicable, callous husband who's planning to murder his wife. This week, he's just injected her with succinylcholine. He already called 911 and carried her to the bathroom while waiting for them to respond. He plans to tell them she's suffering from an asthma attack.

He knelt down beside Lenore and looked directly into her eyes. “What’s that, dear? You can’t breathe?” He chuckled as he placed his fingers under her chin and tilted her face up towards his. “Don’t worry. An ambulance is on the way. You hang in there a little longer, okay?”

Six Sentence Sunday is the lovely idea of Sara Brookes, and it’s a chance for novelists to post on their blogs six sentences from a current work-in-progress, finished novel making the agent-editor rounds, or published masterpiece. A central website, appropriately entitled Six Sentence Sunday, then hosts a set of links, enabling anyone interested to check ‘em out.

Interested writers are encouraged to join the fun. Read the instructions here.

Little Frustrations

2011-02-17T11:36:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's because I'm getting old and crotchety, but it doesn't take a lot to set me off now adays (including the fact that my spell checker firmly believes that 'now adays' is NOT a word. It IS! Isn't it?). However, there must be a certain amount of satisfaction derived from complaining. I work as a nursing supervisor and everyone complains to me. I can only assume it's because it makes them feel better. So, today I want to rant about 'Word Verification'.

I enjoy reading many Blogs, and sometimes I leave a comment. Or, I TRY to leave a comment. I get it just right (one that will make everyone think I'm funny, clever and oh, so entertaining) and then that 'Word Verification' box comes up. Your comment will not be posted unless you type in the word that is written in the box. They claim it's to protect the Blog Writer from Spam generated by computers. That only a human is able to read the 'Word Verification'.

This rubs me in all the wrong places (and usually causes me to suffer additional hot flashes I might not have had) for several reasons.

1) I write a Blog. I would gladly erase spam comments from my Blog if it made it easier for Readers to comment. I want my Readers to enjoy themselves while they're here, not suffer even one teensy speck of extra frustration. I personally know many of my Readers and believe me when I say they don't need any more frustration in their lives.

2) Does someone actually think that HUMANS don't write spam messages?

3) I'm middle-aged with LOTS of company. We Baby Boomers will soon be in the majority. (Yea Us!) Most of the time I can't READ the 'Word Verification'. They write what they think is a cleverly disguised word for us to re-type. The word is usually twisted. Sometimes the letters are typed so close together, it's hard to distinguish one from another. Often, I'm not sure if the letter is a lower case 'L' or an upper case 'I'.

I never get it on the first attempt. Occasionally, my initial frustration is exasperated by the entire comment being erased. The one that I so cleverly wrote, but can't remember now.

WHY DO THEY DO THIS? Why can't we just write a damn comment, and then let the Blog writer decide whether to post it or not? Why does every little thing have to be so hard?

Where's my Xanax?

Leave me a comment. If you can!

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

Well, here I was, all ready to post a blog about the sickeningly sweet displays of Valentine's Day that will abound today. I was going to grumble about all the money wasted on greetings cards, chocolate, flowers and expensive dinners couples would be buying for each other to 'prove their love'.

I was planning to accuse Hallmark of deliberately inventing such a day, just to increase their profits. I envisioned myself smirking at all the weddings and marriage proposals taking place today. I even thought about recalling my elementary school days, where a shy and lonely little girl may have perceived her entire worth as a person from the amount of Valentine's Day cards she did or didn't get from her classmates.

Being divorced myself, and not having a date for the past two years made me kind of jaded, I guess. Not to mention the menopausal witch who lives inside of me, ever waiting to jump out and rear her ugly head.

Yep, I was gonna do it up big time. Just about ruin the day for all the happy couples I could find.

But then, just like in the story 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' my teeny little heart warmed and grew. I met a guy on-line and met him for dinner on Saturday night. He was very nice and we talked for three and a half hours. Better yet, we've planned a second date. And although it's very new and may not even go anywhere, I've been reminded what it's like to be a "we". The pleasure of an intimate conversation with a person who wants to know you, not because he's related to you, or works with you, but because he wants to. The warm glow and distant flicker of excitement to think that maybe, just maybe, he may even desire me as a woman. For so long now I have thought of myself only as a mom, a grandmom and a nursing supervisor. The role of woman was rapidly becoming a faded memory.

And even if it doesn't work out, I felt honored to be considered, relieved I still had it in me to get out there and try and blessed to be reminded of what romance is all about.

Relationships are hard. Should we have a day set aside to celebrate love, however much we're lucky to have? You betcha!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Six Sentence Sunday 2-13-11

2011-02-13T06:00:00.019-05:00

I'm almost finished my next novel 'LeeAnn Vaughn: A Way With Murder'. LeeAnn's a middle-aged nursing supervisor at a small hospital in South Jersey. With a divorce behind her, an exasperatingly unfocused daughter with a young son to worry about, a philandering, unemployed boyfriend, a father with Alzheimer's in a nursing home to care for and the daily struggle of fighting menopause, she leads a pretty normal life.

But when a woman is brought into the emergency room and dies after an asthma attack, LeeAnn suspects... murder. No one takes her suspicions seriously, so she sets out to prove it on her own. Using only the skills she learned watching forensic television shows, a wild imagination and a caring heart of a nurse, she puts herself and her family in danger. Here's an excerpt:

Lenore was snoring and a bit of drool oozed out the corner of her mouth. She had taken off her shoes during the flight and he now imagined that he could smell her feet. Any other time, Longfield would be disgusted, but this time, he smiled. He knew the years of suffering with his wife’s numerous personality flaws were almost over. In three more days… she‘ll be dead.
“We’re getting ready to land, sweetheart,” he whispered into Lenore’s ear. “See? I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

Interested writers are encouraged to join the fun. Read the instructions here.

Six Sentence Sunday 1-23-11

2011-01-23T06:00:00.003-05:00

It had been almost a year since her husband was murdered. Kate couldn’t remember much of the funeral or the months that followed. The State had handled the details, knowing police funerals always attracted both the media and large crowds.
Endel’s friends dropped by frequently, especially Joe and his wife, Bonnie, but Kate spent most of her time alone. She still lived in the same house and worked at the Center, but nothing meant much to her anymore. She went through the day on autopilot, almost unaware of everything and everyone around her.

That was an excerpt from my paranormal romance novel 'Passing Whispers'. To purchase the E-book go to Amazon.

Interested writers are encouraged to join the fun. Read the instructions here.

Can You See My Glow From Outer Space?

2011-01-22T16:03:00.001-05:00

It's a shame that menopausal hot flashes have no real purpose. I'm not talking about the once-in-a-while, mild, rather uncomfortable feeling of warmth that some lucky women describe. I mean the all-encompassing, "yes, my entire body has been thrust into a pizza oven and I am about to burst into flames" kind of hot flash. I suffer with them numerous times a day, violently distracted from whatever I'm doing in an intense, often frenzied attempt to make it bearable. In between hot flashes, I'm dreading the next one. Many of my menopausal friends have been suffering with them for over 20 years! If no relief is in sight, can we make them WORTHWHILE? I have a few suggestions, if Mother Nature is listening:

1) Hot Flashes could be used to burn off one's sins. Thus, a woman who suffers with a great number of them, or ones of high intensity, could pretty much be assured a place in heaven when her time comes.

2) If a woman has led a good life, and really doesn't have that many sins to burn off, her hot flashes could be used to burn off the sins of a loved one, or a favorite, but naughty friend.

3) With so many baby boomers suffering with hot flashes, it's a shame no one can figure out a way to capture all that heat and use it to a homeowner's advantage. We could lower our energy bills in the winter, heat pools in the summer and save the environment at the same time.

4) If the intense heat from a hot flash could be channeled and then shot out through the eyes or tips of fingers, menopausal women could sterilize a grandchild's dropped pacifier, dry clean her family's clothes, and steam clean carpets and drapes with a single glance. I'd even be willing to iron wrinkles out the clothes of strangers I met on the street. We could defrost dinner in a matter of seconds and melt chocolate for strawberry dipping or S'more preparation.

5) At the VERY LEAST, we should be able to conjure one up when we need one. Like walking out to the car on a frosty morning. Wouldn't it be nice to enjoy the instant warmth for a change? Eskimo women could keep the igloo toasty. Farmer's wives could hatch little chicks by the dozens. Moms could warm up their children after playing in the snow with just one hug. Aging nurses could warm blood and IV fluids right at the bedside. Sterilize instruments as the surgeon uses them.

I'm sure there must be dozens of uses for hot flashes. Can we find a silver lining to this dark and disturbing cloud? I can't see any danger in pursuing it. I doubt that legions of unbalanced women would get together and plot to destroy the world with a simultaneous hot flash of epic proportion. Or that you'd find a middle-aged, divorced woman using her hot flash powers to get even with her ex-husband's new, younger wife by melting her silicon implants. There's no reason to believe that from now on all Playboy Bunnies would have bad hair days. Besides... the benefits would certainly outweigh the risks.

Alas, I am not a genius or a doctor. My only hope is that maybe some scientist will read this and get inspired. A Nobel Peace Prize may be at stake!

Another Sad Day

2011-01-10T11:24:00.000-05:00

My heart is heavy for Congresswoman Giffords and the other people who were shot in Arizona on Saturday. Six were killed. Fourteen wounded. What a senseless tragedy.

Gabe Zimmerman - 30 year old event organizer. Engaged to be married.

Dorwan Stoddard - 76 year old retiree. Active in his church and married to his high school sweetheart.

Christina Taylor Green - 9 years old. She had just been elected to the student council at her school and wanted to meet the Congresswoman in person.

US District Judge John Roll. Survived by his wife, three sons and five grandchildren.

Phyllis Schneck - 79 year old NJ grandmother who had retired in Arizona.

Dorothy Morris - 76 year old retiree. Her husband, George remains in critical condition.

Six lives lost. 14 wounded. Not to mention the devastation Jared Loughner, the 22 year old shooter, brought on his own family.

And it could have been worse. Loughner was attempting to re-load another magazine when four bystanders wrestled him to the ground. One of those heroes was Patricia Maisch, a 61 year old grandmother. She bravely grabbed the magazine out of the gunman's hands. It was then that three other people were able to tackle him and hold him until police arrived.

We'll probably never know why Loughner committed such an act. Not that it would matter. No reason could ever justify what he did. All we can do is pray.

Excuse me!

2011-01-07T13:14:00.000-05:00

Here it is January 7th and I haven't made any progress on my New Year's resolutions.

Some may call them excuses, but I prefer to think of them as reasons.

Knowing I wouldn't want to drag out the exercise equipment every morning, I decided to set up the living room as a little gym and leave the stuff out until I'm slender and toned. I imagined myself jumping out of bed every morning and after a glass of iced tea getting right to work on the stepper. Good plan. But first, I had to take down all my Christmas decorations. The boxes are now stacked and ready to be stored in the basement (it took much longer than I anticipated). However the snow is preventing me from dragging those boxes outside, around the corner and down into my storage closet. Until I can clear out the living room, I can't exercise. That's a reason, not an excuse.

I'm still smoking. I did start back on the Chantix. I can feel it working, and within the next few days, I'm sure I'll stop. A frequent quitter, I can tell you it's much easier to stop when you don't have the urge to smoke. Once I do, I swear to God, I will NOT start again. This is a reason, not an excuse.

The Diet. Well... I don't have a reason here. I do have an excuse. No sense in dieting when I can't exercise, right? But I will. No rush. I'm sure I'll still be fat tomorrow.

A Wandering Mind

2011-01-02T13:54:00.000-05:00

Ever since I entered the Wonderful World of Menopause, I now have the attention span of a gnat.
Most of my days start out with good intentions. "I'm going to take down the Christmas tree today." Okay. I need a box. While looking for the box, I come across a few rolls of wrapping paper, which need to be put away in the closet. Where I find the heating pad I've been looking for. "I should put that beside the bed while I'm thinking of it." I notice my pill bottle on the night table. "Did I take my thyroid med today?" I open the bottle and realize that I only have a few tablets left. "I better order them on-line before I run out." So I sign on and see that a few friends have commented on my FaceBook posts. Kate shared one of my links. Before I can thank her, my attention is drawn to her interesting video about polar bears. When the bear cracks open the spy camera, it reminds me that I never put away the carton of eggs this morning after breakfast. For some reason, when I open the door to the fridge I begin to wonder if I ever paid my electric bill this month. I better check. Back on-line. Oh! Sara shared a link to buy my novel 'Passing Whispers'! Let me click on her and see what she's up to today. Before I do, I notice Lori must have had someone cut in line ahead of her at Wallmart. She's asking everyone what they would do. I should go to Wallmart today. I think I'm out of laundry detergent. Laundry. I better get a load on before I leave. While walking to the hamper I pass by the Christmas tree. Oh! I never looked to see if I had a box...

Goodbye, 2010!

2010-12-31T11:12:00.000-05:00

     On this last day of 2010, I wonder how many lives were changed... forever? Was this a year you'll never forget?

      Somewhere... someone was diagnosed with cancer. Somebody was killed in an automobile accident. A young man contracted HIV. Someone was fired from their job. A teenage girl got pregnant. Somewhere a wife found out her husband was cheating on her. A teenager ran away from home. A family watched their house burn down. A child's puppy was struck by a car. A soldier was killed. A boy had his heart broken. Someone lost their last dollar in a casino. A man held his wife's hand in the Intensive Care Unit for the last time. A grocery store clerk was held up at gun point. A young woman miscarried. A man said goodbye to the grandfather who raised him. A child was abducted. Somewhere, a heroin addict overdosed for the last time. An angry man murdered his wife. A woman found a lump in her breast. A man was sentenced to prison for the rest of his life. A drunk picked up his car keys...

     All these things happened somewhere in the world...to people just like me. Maybe right next door. Maybe right this minute. I am stunned.

     Desperately searching for some glimmer of hope I realize that in this very same year... A baby was born. A young couple got married. A lost kitten was found. Proud parents watched their youngest child graduate from high school. Someone got a promotion. Another won the lottery. A teenage boy bought his first car. A young woman discovered that after years of trying, she was finally pregnant. A doctor told a worried family that the operation was a success. A young woman had flowers delivered to her door. Two childhood friends took off on a trip to Greece. A singer had a #1 hit. A child was returned to his mother. A mortgage application was approved. A dentist informed a 5 year old that he didn't have any cavities, and a 10th grade girl was asked to the prom.

I ponder the wonder of it all and I'm left with just one lingering thought. I must have WAY too much time on my hands.

Happy New Year! May 2011 bring joy, happiness, peace and love!

Please Allow 4-6 Weeks For Delivery

2010-12-30T11:31:00.001-05:00

I now realize that I have the power to make my life easier, happier and healthier without even leaving the comfort of my own living room. I can change my very destiny with just a TV, a telephone and a credit card. Where did I get this power? Infomercials. Don't laugh. Try watching one for just a few minutes. These glorified, blockbuster commercials are fascinating and addicting. See for yourself how these products have changed the lives of ordinary people like you and me. Still not convinced? Let a celebrity show you. Or a... doctor.

From health and exercise, make-up and beauty, to cooking and cleaning, these ads of epic proportion will show you the way to a better life. You can awaken in the morning feeling completely rested after sleeping on a mattress specially designed by NASA. Refreshed because thanks to your new breathing device, you didn't snore. That knowing smile on your face shows that you have discovered both whiter teeth and the secret to true passion (no prescription necessary in Cuba, St. Croix or New Jersey). In the past, you may have awakened with a headache from drinking too much. But not today. You ordered the Hangover Prevention pills and took one before you went out last night. Not only were you able to avoid a potential prison sentence by checking your blood alcohol level before driving home using a Personal Pocket Breathalyzer, you also just missed a head on collision with an 18 wheeler you may not have seen if you weren't regularly taking your new Eyesight Vitamins designed to increase night vision. Once home, you enjoyed your partners recent male enhancement… Three times. And what a day it will be. Looking into the streak free mirror (using only micro fiber cloths and plain water) you know you look marvelous. Your skin is clear and you have a lot less wrinkles. You tanned in one hour, got thicker, softer hair and quickly removed all the split ends. After showering you can remove unwanted hair from your legs, bikini zone, and upper lip with a disposable, battery operated device that can also trim shrubbery . Looking down, you raise your perfectly sculpted eyebrows. Is that a stain on the bedroom rug? No problem. Just clean it with your bottle of 'Carpet Psychic' to completely remove it right down to the padding underneath it. Now that all of your furniture rests on plastic disks, you can move any piece across the room without needing physical therapy afterwards. You notice that the walls are looking a bit dingy. With your new fast and easy roller kit you can paint like a pro in less than an hour, and your electric air purifier with the hepa filter will get rid of the odor.

You roll out your personal Complete Home Gym In A Shoebox, conveniently stored under your bed and work out all of your major muscle groups in less than 3 minutes. You could afford those 3 low monthly payments of only $999 each, since you recently quit smoking in just seven days. With no cravings. Soon you'll be saving even more money when you start doing your own dry cleaning at home.

Oops! It's time to go and pick up your great grandmother. How she loves being able to do her own shopping now that she has an Electric Granny Go-Cart. That company even did the paperwork for her, and threw in a handy shopping basket (some assembly required). The sun is shining brightly, but it doesn't bother you. You're wearing your polarized, glare and distortion free designer sunglasses worn by the cast of 'Friends' themselves. Fortunately after you accidentally dropped them last week while installing your virtually maintenance free gutter and downspout screens, you were able to borrow your neighbor's Eyeglass Cleaner/Polisher and Scratch Remover Pads. It was almost fun climbing up onto the roof with the new safety ladder. It really can be used in 1400 different positions and be kept in your wallet for easy storage. You wave at your sister as you drive by her house. She smiles because she is effortlessly watering her lawn with a garden hose that never kinks and rolls up flat. She looks great, too. She recently lost 420 pounds while taking a pill that worked. Really worked. She knew it would. It cost $158 a bottle. She's a new woman with a bright future. She completed an at home study course that not only taught her how to do her own taxes but how to purchase real estate for less than $5 down. She now owns half of Los Angeles. Oh no! Is that a ding in her new Porsche? Not to worry. She can borrow the bonus tool for popping out your own dents that came with the video and 400 page booklet, 'Why Pay A Professional When You Can DoIt Yourself?' That kit sure came in handy last year when Uncle Phil suffered a heart attack and the doctor told him he needed bypass surgery. After reading chapter nine, Aunt Mae saved them tons of money by doing it herself using a sonic toothbrush and her food sealer (purchased separately). Thanks to infomercials, life is not only better, faster, easier, and cheaper, it's damn near perfect. Guaranteed or your money back. Less shipping and handling, of course.

The Plan

2010-12-29T10:30:00.000-05:00

I've decided to make 2011 a great year. Why should I sit back and let Fate make all the decisions?

I'm 55 years old. My cardiologist told me last week:"Lisa, you already have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a pacemaker. You're overweight and out of shape. You don't exercise and you smoke cigarettes. I don't have to tell what lies ahead of you. But, you're still young enough to change the course of you life. Start TODAY!"

WOW. His words burned into my brain like the Ghost of Christmas Future. If I want to live long enough to dance at my grand-children's weddings I better do something.

1) Quit smoking. Sigh. I've quit so many times I should be an expert. Chantix works great, but the last time I took it, it gave me horrific nightmares. I guess that's better than a dreamless eternal nap. January 1, 2011 I will quit. For good this time.

2) Exercise. Groan. I will start an exercise program. Step aerobics works the best for me and I already have all the equipment. Get them out and dust them off.

3) Diet and lose weight. Scream. I am a carboholic. I only eat meat and vegetables to keep me alive so I can eat more cake. But... if I'm dead, there will never be any more cake. All right, already. Sob. Sniff.

Some might say that I'm biting of more than I can chew. Make too many New Year's Resolutions and you're bound to fail. I usually only make one, and I never succeed, so I might as well go for the gusto. It's about time that I stopped being my own worst enemy. Even tough it was kind of fun.

Here goes. Wish me luck!

Auld Lang Syne

2010-12-27T10:19:00.000-05:00

Here it is. The end of 2010. It was a great year for me. I got to see my novel 'Passing Whispers' published, and I have a lot to be thankful for. A wonderful, loving family. Awesome friends. A great job. Good health. There's really not much more I could ask for.

But now it's time to think about New Year's Resolutions. Like most years before this one, I have a long list to choose from. I can't say I've ever succeeded though, or that it was fun trying. I guess the endeavor to improve yourself is always difficult, but worth the effort, however brief.

I really do need to quit smoking. For good. I don't have to tell you why, we all know the reasons. I need to start exercising. I'm probably in the worst physical shape of my life right now. I need to spend less time on Face Book and start writing again. Get into some kind of routine. Drag my lazy butt out of bed and go to church on Sundays. Sort though the 14,000 pics I have stored on my computer. I should learn to stick to a budget. Put some money away for my rapidly approaching old age.

I guess my biggest obstacle is thinking there's always tomorrow. I'm going to run out of them someday.

Okay. I'm going to do it. Really.

Thank God I have one more week to lay around, eat, smoke and spend money I don't have. But then, that's it. Discipline. Routine. Organization. I will be envied by thousands of people like myself. "How does she do it?", they'll ask themselves. "My mother is such a great role model," my kids will say over and over again. My grandkids will write essays claiming I'm the person who they want to be like when they grow up. Yeah. I can see it now. Nice.

How many days do I have left?

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-22T11:45:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas

to my family,

friends,

co-workers

and Readers!

May 2011 bring you

peace, love and happiness.

Be safe!

Guest Interview: Deanna Wadsworth

2010-12-20T06:00:00.001-05:00

Author Interview:

Today, I’d like to welcome author Deanna

Wadsworth. She has written three very erotic novels:

Red Riding Hood, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Secret Santa.
Hi Deanna! I’m honored to have you as a guest today!
Deanna: Hello, darlin’! I’m so happy to be here! We had a great time when you visited my blog so it’s nice to be visiting you today!

The titles of your books seem to indicate that you are possibly a wicked rebel! Are you?
Deanna: Hmmm, wicked? Maybe imaginatively wise. And a rebel? Well, I do love me some Southern Country and my new cell phone ringer is the Dixie horn from The Dukes of Hazzard, LOL. But really, I just read those old stories and I was like, whoever wrote this had a mind as dirty as mine!

I know that you have ventured into writing male/male erotica. Do you find that more pleasurable than male/female?
Deanna: Ya know, I just blogged about that over on The Rainbow Studio . As much as I like m/f and will always write it, but currently m/m is giving me an emotional connection to the characters I haven’t found in traditional romance. Love against all odds? It’s not just the situations authors put their characters in, but even society doesn’t want these guys together. Who wouldn’t cheer for that kind of a HEA? Of course, some über hot man-on-man luvin’ doesn’t hurt!

What made you decide to go that route?
Deanna: A fluke really. I had an idea about a sexy tattoo artist after a clip on HBO’s Real Sex so I wrote it. He, of course, had other ideas and hopefully readers will read his story one day.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was my husband’s idea. LOL. He told me I should write a Headless Horseman story and make him gay… “Ya know? Headless? Cuz he always has to give head and he never gets any?” Then he laughed maniacally and I was like, “Alright, I can do that!”

Did you, umm, have to research it?
Deanna: I think this is the Number One question women ask me! LOL .
And yes, if you must know, I have watched my share of gay porn. But frankly, if a woman is being honest with herself, she has done or had done to her most of the same things in an m/m book…TMI, I know…but have you ever written a love scene from a man’s point of view? How do you really know what that feels like? It’s really the same thing, if you think about it.

Are you going to stay in that realm, or will you go both ways? (sorry, couldn’t resist)
Deanna: I will totally be ‘versatile’ in my writing. I am finishing up both an m/m, a m/m/f and a comedy mystery with no sex at all! But I would be lying if I didn’t say, I love to write sex. So even my mainstream stuff will probably be racy, regardless of which gender characters are getting it on!

How long had you been writing before your first book ‘Red Riding Hood’ got published?
Deanna: My entire life, really. I am a story teller. My version of Barbie’s had so much backstory my friend would always get bored before we even started. I wrote books all thru high school with my fellow nerd friends. Those books will never see the light of day, LOL. But I started writing seriously about 7 years ago. Since I could not type, it took a while but I was having fun, and learning a lot. Actually I wrote Red Riding Hood on a lark for a friend in two weeks. Of course my editors did make it sooo much better! But I guess I was meant to write erotica!

Is there any type of book you’d like to write, but haven’t tried?
Deanna: I have dabbled in everything, actually. But I will become an epic fantasy writer one day. I have been working on a series for 7 years, I just haven’t finished more than outlines and a handful of chapters. But it will happen.

Part of the proceeds for SECRET SANTA will go to the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life, right? I’m very impressed!
Deanna: Well, don’t be that impressed. Just buy it, LOL!
And yes, my latest erotic m/m novel SECREY SANTA is the December Decadent Publishing Read for Life feature. Read For a Cure is a Decadent Publishing program benefiting the American Cancer Society Relay For Life Each month, they donates ALL PUBLISHER PROFITS from one book to R4L in their efforts to help fight back against cancer.
I will be donating 50cents per purchase of SECRET SANTA to this same great cause. My goal is to raise $500 by New Year’s Eve.
If you are curious but have never read an m/m story before, please pick up a copy of SECRET SANTA.
It is One Naughty Read for one Nice Cause!
And for more information about how you can help donate to Relay for Life or to join TEAM DECADENT

As a new author myself, I worry about bad reviews. Have you gotten any? Do you have any words of wisdom or advice to live through it and go on? ;-)
Deanna: Actually my own sister left me a nasty review, but she just pissed me off so bad I wrote The Legend of Sleepy Hollow in 9 days, so, who had the last laugh? Bitch!
But as far as LEGETIMATE reviews go, some people have not liked some of my scenes, but as long as they never criticize my actual writing craft, I think I’ll get over it. You know what they say about opinions…they are like armpits, everybody has a couple and most of them stink!

Thanks so much for being my guest today! I wish you the best of luck with your writing.

If you would like to contact Deanna you can find her here:
Facebook
Blog

And you can buy her books here:
Decadent Publishing

If you would please, post a comment, Deanna will be drawing one lucky winner and giving you a copy of either Red Riding Hood or The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Your choice…so please! Comment away!!!

The Best Book Trailer (Video) for 2010 (submission stage ends Dec. 15th 2010)

2010-12-16T07:36:00.000-05:00

The Best Book Trailer (Video) for 2010 (submission stage ends Dec. 15th 2010)

The 'Passing Whispers' Book Trailer is in a contest! The cast worked so hard on it. I'd love to see them recognized for their effort. Won't you please take a moment each day until January 15th to vote for it? Click 'See All Entries' and vote (thumbs up sign) under 'Lisa Vance'. Thanks so much!

Ten Christmas's

2010-12-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

Ten Christmas's from now
you won't remember how many lights you put up,
how many cards you got back,
or how many parties you were invited to.

It won't matter if it snowed on Christmas Eve,
or if anyone came late for Christmas dinner.
No one will recall how much time and money you spent shopping,
or how nicely you wrapped the gifts.

It won't be important anymore that your house
wasn't always neat and tidy when company stopped by to visit.
Ten Christmas's from now
you'll only remember baking cookies with the kids,
drinking hot chocolate after Christmas Mass,
and stealing kisses under the mistletoe
with the one you love.
You'll still remember visiting old friends, reading Christmas
Stories to the children,
and calling your grandmother to tell her how much you loved the
afghan she crocheted for you.

When you close your eyes ten Christmas's from now
you'll still be smiling when you remember the looks on their faces
when your children woke up on Christmas morning
and discovered that Santa had eaten all the cookies they left out
for him.

Ten Christmas's from now the only memories you'll cherish will be
the ones you hold in your heart.
The smiles, the laughter, the joy, the singing,
and the hugs.

Christmas is love. Fill your heart with it.

Happy Holidays to all my friends and Readers.
Here's hoping that 2011 will be a great year for all of us!

Guest Interview With Frances Pauli

2010-12-15T06:00:00.001-05:00

I'm honored to have a guest author with me today. Please welcome Frances Pauli!

Tell us a bit about your latest book,

and what inspired you to write such a story.

Frances: My new release, 'Lords of Oak and Holly', is a holiday story about a
down-on-her-luck ice sculptor who ends up taking a commission from the
prince of winter. She's always loved the unpopular season, and falls
for its personification as well, but ends up caught in the middle of a
battle between him and his Summer counterpart.

I love myth, and this tale explores the idea of the Oak King and the
Holly King vying for supremacy as the seasons change. In the tale, the
cold season is feared, and the need for balance between the two is
misunderstood. Its a theme I enjoy, that dark and light are equally
needed.

What kind of promotions do you do for your books?

Frances: I'm still learning, but I enjoy guest blogging and virtual book tours
because I can meet a cross-section of readers and other authors and I
can provide content as well instead of just saying, Hey, buy my book.
I just can't bring myself to do that.
I know that self-promotion is really stressed right now, but I think
it's been overdone a lot, and in some places is really driving the
readers batty. Not a good thing for any reason. I post my releases and
news on Facebook and I'm looking into some purchased ads, but I can't
say what's working and what isn't at this point. I suspect the best
thing an author can do is write a better book the next time, and a
better one after that...to garner that elusive word of mouth that we
all want.


When did you start writing? Can you share an anecdote

 from your earliest writing years?

Frances: I've been writing since they invented dirt. But seriously, regularly
writing for about five years now. I can't imagine not doing it, and
I've been known to take a day off and have to fight myself not to sit
in that chair and start typing.
An anecdote...hmmm. Well, back in High School a million years ago, I
sent a short story to the Writer's of the Future contest. For some
reason that round they put all my heroes on the judges panel, Andre
Norton, Anne McCaffrey, you name it. I can only pray they didn't
actually read the story. I recently did, and I'm still in hiding. Wow.
Thank heavens we get better with age/time, right?

Which of your characters do you love/hate/fear/pity the most

and why?

Frances: I love my heroes, all of them. I have to. I fall in love every time I
write a book. It's probably why I write romance.
But my favorite characters are the sidekicks. I like quirky, odd side
characters that show up for no reason and take over large portions of
the book, or demand their own later. So far, I have an invisible best
friend, a gelatinous alien clutz and a barkeep who just wants her very
own fairy. It its weird, I'll probably do it.

How would you handle negative criticism or a negative review?

Have you ever gotten a bad review?

Frances: Define negative? :-) My first book got several reviews, and while they all rated it fairly
high, there were all these comments. You know, the ones that make you
feel like every little mistake, every flaw is exposed to the world.
They were certainly valid points---no book is perfect--but they still
stung even though all the reviewers also mentioned that they really
liked the book.
How did I handle it? How do you? You learn from it, write a better
story next time, shake it off and eat some chocolate...lots of
chocolate helps.

Do you have another book in the works?

Would you like to tell the Readers about

your current or future projects?

Frances: Oh boy, do I! I can't stop writing, remember? Right now Im working on
next years holiday stories. You see, the Summer prince has demanded I
tell his side of the story. I also have a bunch of releases coming up.
The first book in my urban fantasy trilogy, 'A Moth in Darkness', is due
out soon. Bring on the fairies! I also have a futuristic romance
coming, a supers romance, and book two in my Dimensional Hotel series,
Aspect Ratio for spring.
I'll also be starting book two of my free serial in January.
http://spaceslugserial.blogspot.com
book one is there as a free read.

Before we let you go, tell us five random things about yourself.

Frances: Random...hmmmm.
I have two children, toddlers
I love tarantulas and own a hairless dog
I play the ukulele
I make a mean meatloaf
and,
I may love the idea of space travel, but no way are you getting me off
this rock! (too scary)

Thanks so much for having me! You can keep in touch and find out more
about upcoming books at my website:
http://francespauli.com
or on my blog:
http://francespauli.blogspot.com
and on facebook. (links on both above pages)

Lords of Oak and Holly
Devine Destinies
Dec 15 2010

"Maris always loved winter, but she never dreamed

she'd actually meet Him..."

When her interpretation of a traditional holiday scene

loses Maris the annual ice sculpting competition,

her favorite season takes a turn toward dismal.

The rent is due, and her landlady won’t accept a fourth

place ribbon. So when the enigmatic, Lord Brayce,

arrives with a last minute commission, Maris jumps

at the chance. And as her host’s icy exterior begins to

melt away, Maris finds there is far more to him

than meets the eye, and his attentions leave her wishing

this particular job could last forever.

But when Brayce’s family arrives for the holiday,

Maris is plunged head over heels into a world of secrets

and an age old conflict between brothers.

Can an ordinary girl survive at the center of a battle

straight out of myth? And if her impossible suspicions

are correct, what are the odds that Maris can win

her prince?

Thank you, Frances! Good luck with your books!

And the winner is...

2010-12-08T08:23:00.000-05:00

The winner of the 'Passing Whispers Win A Kindle Contest' is...

Nicole Marris!

Congratulations, Nicole! She'll be reading my paranormal romance novel 'Passing Whispers' on her way down to Florida. Here's hoping she has a great time and enjoys the book, too!

Pinch me!

2010-12-01T09:48:00.001-05:00

I've been writing for ten years now and I can't tell you how many times my novel has been rejected. I often wondered if I'd EVER get anything published. My mother was a writer and no matter how many rejections she got, she never gave up. Her enthusiasm and faith were contagious, so I just kept at it. Not too many people get to see their their dream come true (my mother didn't), but I'm happy to report that TODAY... I will! Devine Destinies has released my first, paranormal romance novel 'Passing Whispers'!

It's thrilling. It's terrifying. I want to shout it from the rooftops. I want to hide under the covers. Yes, I'm a Gemini and always struggle with conflicting feelings. This could change my life forever if fate looks at me kindly, or it could be the biggest disappointment of my life, if fate is toying with me.

One of the best parts is that my kids are proud of me. I hope that I can inspire them the way my mother inspired me. I'm awestruck at how supportive friends, family and co-workers can be. Their words of encouragement pull me out of the fear and doubt that grips me even now. My grandson, Brandon (8 years old) is wild with anticipation.

My only regret is that my parents didn't live to see this. I know my mother is smiling down at me from Heaven and is doing everything she can to help me. My Dad would have been my biggest, toughest critic, but he would be proud and excited for me, too.

I'd like to thank my kids and my daughter-in-law, for their support and undying devotion. For never shaking their heads or rolling their eyes at my visions of becoming a writer. For jumping in and helping me make the book trailer. To my grandchildren (especially Brandon) for giving up time with me because I was busy writing. To my friends and co-workers who were always ready to hug me and shout "Woo Hoo" every step of the way. To Jay and Tina at Devine Destinies for giving me a chance.

And most importantly, I'd like to thank God for giving me a wild imagination, a strong will and a great sense of humor.

Buy the book: Devine Destinies
'Passing Whispers' by Lisa Anne Vance. Under 'New Releases'. Also available on Amazon.

See the book trailer: Passing Whispers

Read my Interview:

Speculative Friction: Interview and Contest: Lisa Anne Vance

An Interview!

2010-11-30T07:35:00.000-05:00

I'm being interviewed by Deanna Wadsworth today. Join the fun. Make a comment or ask a question under the interview and you could win a copy of 'Passing Whispers' being released tomorrow!

The Interview with Deanna Wadsworth

Win a Kindle!

2010-11-20T12:42:00.003-05:00

My novel 'Passing Whispers' will be released by Devine Destinies on December 1, 2010. To help celebrate the event, I am running a contest! Log onto YouTube anytime from December 1 to December 7, 2010 (creating an account is free and easy... takes only a minute) and make a comment under my 'Passing Whispers' book trailer. You will get one entry for every comment you make. On December 8, 2010, we'll pick a winner who will receive an Amazon Kindle and a free down-loadable copy of 'Passing Whispers'. Good luck!

BONUS! If you share the book trailer on your blog or Face Book Page, you get TWO additional entries every time you post it (no limit) between NOW and December 7th! Just let me know you did it.

Getting Creative!

2010-11-17T12:17:00.001-05:00

One good thing about getting older is that you have more time to explore your interests. I've discovered that making videos is as much fun as writing. Here's my first attempt at making a short book teaser for my upcoming novel 'Passing Whispers'. Using Windows Movie Maker, I was able to create and edit on my own.

Whatcha think?

Veteran's Day

2010-11-11T13:54:00.000-05:00

A Pittance of Time

Every day, a soldier is killed in the line of duty. He gave his life for his country, so that the rest of us would be safe and free. Every day, a soldier's wife is notified that her husband has been killed. Every day, a mother grieves for the son or daughter she lost in the military.

Veterans who made it home, silently suffer with memories of horrors most of us could not imagine. From wounds that cause pain every minute of the day.

Active military personnel spend years away from their families and friends. They miss out on so much. Holidays. Celebrations. Births of children. Precious last moments with a dying loved one.

Often, they must live in horrendous conditions while they serve. Hostile weather. Sleeping in hard beds, or none at all. Sweating in sweltering heat. Lousy food. Grueling marches. Constant anxiety.

Their families must go on without them until they come home. Comfort crying kids who miss their mommy or daddy. Worry every minute. Keep the home fires burning... alone. Try to make ends meet.

On this day, let us remember those who keep us free and safe. Who make America the wonderful country it has always been. Thank a soldier and a veteran today. Smile and pray for them and their families.

God Bless America!

Countdown!

2010-11-08T13:12:00.003-05:00

Get this widget!

Official Book Trailer

2010-11-05T10:30:00.000-04:00

It's been a total of nine months in the making... but the Official Book Trailer for 'Passing Whispers' is finally finished! It was a lot of work, very frustrating, nerve-wracking and stressful at times, but it was also the most fun I've ever had. The cast and crew were the best any director could hope for. Our video editor is a cinematic genius and a perfectionist.
Please... join me in viewing our master-piece! Feel free to post it wherever you want. If 'Passing Whispers' sells 200 E-Books in 60 days it will be printed in paper back. I'll need all the help I can get to make my dream come true. It will be released by Devine Destinies on December 1, 2010. Thanks guys!

Passing Whispers - The Official Book Trailer

My Very First Book Review!

2010-11-02T09:58:00.001-04:00

I'm really getting my feet wet now. Although I'm sure I'll get my share of bad book reviews, thank goodness my first one was good. 'Trick or Treat' was reviewed yesterday. Thank you, Marissa!

Sizzling Hot Books

Trick or Treat

2010-10-27T12:26:00.000-04:00

While anxiously waiting for my novel 'Passing Whispers' to be released on December 1, 2010 by Devine Destinies, I occupied myself by writing a short holiday romance story.
It will be released on October 31, 2010. Click on the book cover below. Check out New Releases or Holiday Stories and look for 'Trick or Treat' by Lisa Anne Vance.

Devine Destinies

In true romance writer form, let me tease you with this book trailer. Enjoy!

Moving Right Along

2010-09-27T12:00:00.000-04:00

The final edits for my novel 'Passing Whispers' are finished. The E-book will be released by Devine Destinies on December 1, 2010. If it sells 200 copies in 60 days it will be released as a paper back book in the spring. The book trailer should be ready for release sometime in the next few weeks. I'll post it as soon as it's ready. Wish me luck!

Interviews

2010-08-02T09:12:00.000-04:00

Devine Destinies, my publisher (I just love

saying that!) is interviewing me today on their Blog. Please stop by and leave a comment.

They will also be interviewing the main character

of my novel 'Passing Whispers' on August 9. Detective Endel Sorra is a ghost who has come back to help his wife get over his death. See you there!

http://devinedestiniesrevealed.blogspot.com

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

2010-06-20T09:54:00.000-04:00

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I can't believe you've been gone for twenty-two years now. We had a great time while you were here though. Didn't we? How I miss our talks over coffee and donuts.

I hope you know what a wonderful father you were. We never had much money, but you had a knack for making things fun. I loved going to the park with you to watch the ducks. My love for the shore started the first time you took me to the beach. It was magical when you introduced me to the "sound of the ocean" when I put a seashell up to my ear. I may have hated it when you were over-protective, but looking back on it now, I never felt so safe. I knew you were looking out for me.

I think one of my best memories was the Christmas Eve you and I walked for miles looking for a Christmas tree on sale. We finally found one, right before they closed up shop. We pulled it back home on a sled through the snow. Just you and I. I'll never forget it, Daddy.

Thanks for all the things you taught me. I wish that you could see how great my kids turned out. They would have loved you. And my grandkids, too.

I wish my girls had a relationship with their father like we had. Or at least make the best of it. No matter what, I know they'll miss him when he's gone, and it will be too late.

Anyway, Happy Father's Day. I hope you're playing a game of golf somewhere in Hawaii. Say hello to Mom.

I miss you both. So much.

Passing Whispers The Making of the Book Trailer

2010-06-11T16:10:00.001-04:00

While I'm waiting for the official book trailer to be produced and edited, I made a behind the scenes video of the MAKING of the book trailer. We learned a lot, but it was great fun! Enjoy! Feel free to leave a comment or share the link. Thanks!

Behind The Scenes - Passing Whispers

2010-05-17T14:35:00.001-04:00

The past few months have been so exciting. In December I signed my first book contract with Devine Destinies. 'Passing Whispers' is a paranormal romance depicting the love between the two main characters, Kate and Endel Sorra. When Detective Sorra is killed in a convenience store robbery, the lives of his loved ones are shattered. One year later, his wife Kate is still consumed with bitterness and grief. Deciding to give away all the precious Christmas decorations they have collected over the years, Kate comes across the Snow Globe her husband had given to her the first year they were married. Endel stops her from smashing it against the wall and finds a way to come back to her. Over a two week period, he helps her to discover the truth about his death and other misconceptions that are ruining her life. Although it's breaking his heart, Endel nudges Kate into the loving arms of another man. He knows he can't stay and he wants to make sure Kate will be able to go on with her life without him.

There are a few tear-jerking moments, but there are also many light-hearted and humorous ones, as well. The Readers get to know Brian Morris, the co-worker Endel believes will make Kate a good husband someday. The Morris Family are wealthy socialites keeping many secrets.

In an attempt to publicize the novel, I decided to produce my own Book Trailer. Having absolutely no experience has never stopped me from doing anything before. I have always been detailed oriented and spent months preparing for the photo shoot. I wanted the trailer to bring my novel to life and give the viewer a glimpse of what was waiting for them if they purchased the book.

I was on a tight budget. I knew my daughter Christina would be perfect to play the part of Kate Sorra. She had an ex-boyfriend who was willing to play the part of Endel. An old friend of mine had a son who is an aspiring model. He enthusiastically agreed to play the part of Brian Morris. Another friend suggested a photographer who was willing to do the shoot for a simple credit at the end of the trailer. After quite a bit of scrambling, we put a wardrobe together and gathered all the needed props. I was able to talk a few local businesses into letting us use their properties as locations. To my delight, my son Joe, and daughter Lisa, offered to help as well.

We were forced to post-pone the original shooting day due to heavy snow. The new date was yesterday. It was a perfect day and it went off without a hitch. Well, maybe a few hitches, but not many. Although I had never met Len Romano (the photographer) and Walt Kohn (the man playing Brian Morris) before long, it felt as though I had known them forever.

Throughout the story, Endel Sorra is wearing the same outfit he was killed in. Black slacks, shoes, white dress shirt and leather coat. He was wearing the red tie Kate had given to him as a gift, loosely tied around his neck (she always though he looked so handsome that way).When Mike Eckman walked out of the bedroom dressed in the outfit I had described in the novel, I couldn't believe it. It was as though Endel Sorra had just walked out of the book itself. He was perfect!

My daughter Christina is beautiful, but I never realized what a wonderful and talented actress she was as well. Mike told me that he had no acting experience except for a small part in his fifth grade play at school. Maybe it was left-over chemistry from their prior romantic relationship... whatever it was... it was powerful. Their chemistry was more than I could have hoped for.

The first location was in the basement of my own condo. These shots would depict Kate as she sorted through her old Christmas decorations. She comes across the Snow Globe and is overcome, once again, with the agony of losing her husband. Before she can smash the globe against the wall, Endel finds a way to come back to her. They are over-joyed to be in each other's arms once again. The lighting in the basement was minimal, at best. We had to take many different shots using different timing speeds and degrees of flash to capture just the right one. We hid a flashlight at the bottom of the box where the snow globe was stored, so that it would look... magical... when she opened it. Hopefully, Len was able to get it. He worked so hard. He'll send me the pics this week and we'll choose our favorites. Once Len edits them, they'll go to the videographer (Mike Lizzio) who will put them altogether into a book trailer.

In the novel, the music box inside the snow globe plays 'I'll Be Home For Christmas' when the key is turned, and that song was also playing when Endel was shot. I decided to use that melody as the back ground music on the book trailer. I was able to locate the owner and lease the right to use it for three years. I found a gifted fifteen-year-old sax player and his mother Stacey, who is a talented pianist to record the music. Incredibly, Dustyn DeBernardo had been practicing that song for years. He had written his own rendition for his grandmother, who recently passed away. When I told them what song I wanted them to record, they were speechless. That melody meant more to them than anyone I could have hired. It was fate and luck that I found them.

Next, we drove to a vacant house to take shots of Kate and Endel decorating their house in Christmas's past. A local park was used to depict the couple enjoying time together. Very romantic.

After lunch, we headed to the sample condos of a near-by contractor. I wanted to use a sample home as they are typically vacant, clean, beautifully decorated, well-lighted, and spacious. There we shot pics of the couple on previous anniversaries and the last day of Endel's life. Many pics were taken of Kate to show how devastated she was after her husband's death. It was so sad!

Next, we visited Costantino's Funeral Home. Vic allowed us to film Kate grieving over Endel's flag-draped casket, holding a rose. She had laid her head on it, and was grabbing onto as much of the casket as she could. Very moving scene.

My daughter Lisa and I had found a tombstone in a local cemetery which, cropped just the right way, would appear to be Endel's. There were shots of Kate visiting him numerous times. The final, and most dramatic shot was of Brian Morris as he held Kate at Endel's grave. Unbenownst to them, Endel is standing in the back ground watching them. He wants Kate to go on... but it's breaking his heart to see her with another man. WOW.

While we were at the park and the sample home, we also took some shots depicting Kate as she begins a new relationship with Brian Morris.

The kids really did bring my novel to life. The shoot was great fun. I'll never forget it. I can't wait until the trailer is finished so I can post it.

Just a peek... Shhh! I'm not supposed to post these yet!

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

2010-05-08T14:50:00.000-04:00

Hi Mom.
I can't believe that this will be my sixth Mother's Day without you. I miss you so much. Life goes on, but it's a lot harder without you here. I miss our talks over coffee. You were always such a good listener. I wish that you were here when I signed my book contract in December. I know that you always had the dream of becoming an author yourself, but it wasn't in the cards for you. You would have been my biggest fan and supporter. Your enthusiasm, determination and faith were contagious. I thank you for that.

I have two new grand-kids, Mom. They are so adorable. I wish they got a chance to meet you. And Brandon is getting so big. He inherited our wild imaginations. All three of my kids turned out so well. You would be proud of them, like I am.

You always had such a way of looking through the darkest of days and seeing the sunshine. I know you're with Daddy, and that's where you wanted to be. I'm happy for you. No matter how long you're gone, I'll never forget how special you both were.

I can't tell you how many times, even now, that I have the urge to pick up the phone and call you. Share a bit of wonderful news, or just cry on your shoulder over something insignificant that will pass.

How I wish I had to make time to run out to the store to buy you a Mother's Day Card. I'd try to find one that told you what a great Mom you were. How much I appreciate everything you ever did for me. That I am still realizing how many sacrifices you made to raise your seven kids. You taught me so much.

I just wanted you to know that, Mom. I love you.

Happy Mother's Day.

Happy Nurses' Week

2010-05-07T13:31:00.000-04:00

This week is National Nurses' Week. It's a time to celebrate and thank the men and women who care for us and our loved ones during some of the most difficult and joyous times of our lives.

Being an RN myself for many years, and now a Nursing Supervisor, I have been privileged to witness many instances of caring and devotion. I don't think that the general public has any idea what it takes to be a nurse. Please allow me to explain.

School itself, is grueling. Many students must work full time jobs and raise families while trying to complete their education. Once grauduated, they must sit for State Boards and pass before they can work. Everyone has job related stress, but nurses have the fear of losing their hard earned licenses hanging over their heads every minute of the day. Even well meant advice to a neighbor who sought them out, can lead to a lawsuit.

Uncle Charlie can be convicted of a DUI and still have his job, but a nurse cannot. Any felony conviction will result in a nurse losing their license to practice.

Besides caring for her patients with their multitude of diagnoses, medications, treatments, tests, and results, she has to develop a care plan and discharge plan for each one of them. Every detail of her care must be documented. Both her employer and the State scrutinize her notes frequently. Added to her work load is the knowledge that although she is not a physician, she is still responsible for carrying out any and all orders written by the doctor which may be wrong. If any mistakes are made, she will be required to testify in Court, where her care of that patient will be torn apart by the patients' attorneys.

It's normal for every patient to believe that he is his nurses only patient and primary concern. But all of her other patients feel the same way. Today, patients expect and demand a high degree of care. Hospitals require the staff to deliver this care with speed, accuracy... and a smile. They insist that nothing is too much for a patient to ask for.

At the same time, each nurse is expected to keep up with the ever changing technology. She is required to earn a minimum amount of credits each and every year, as well as keep her expensive license current. Every hospital has mandatory classes she must attend annually.

Frequently, I hear patients and their families complain that nurses are "unfeeling". They don't seem to realize that if their nurse allowed themselves to become emotionally attached, they would be unable to deliver the needed care at the moment it was necessary. How could she perform CPR and push life saving medications on the patient in room 108, if she focused on the fact that Mrs. Jones was a retired school teacher, with a devoted husband, three grieving children and 6 grandkids with another on the way? She must distance herself from the patient to a certain extent to be able to do what is necessary. There is a double-standard. Many times the patient requires care that can only be administered by an "uninvolved" person. They would be mortified if a close friend, family member or neighbor had to stick their fingers into their rectums to remove impacted stool. Would you ask your friendly mail carrier to check your episiotomy or administer a suppository to ease your hemorrhoids? No. You want and need someone to do it, who will not make you feel self-conscious. Nurses do things for patients that their own families can't or won't do for them. Nurses are human, too. They are called upon to see and smell things that would cause a normal person to wretch. But they are expected to do it, and act as though nothing is disgusting or out of the ordinary. Many nurses find other ways to show how much they care. They let patients sneak in young children and even pets to visit. They arrange baby showers, birthday and anniversay parties right in the hospital for patients who are too sick to go home. They bring in clothes for those who are in need. Don't be surprised to see a couple of nurses that cared for your mother at her funeral. Nurses do that sort of thing. They stay after their shift is over, off the clock, to sit with a dying patient or his family. One nurse I know, sat at a patients bedside and sang to him because he had no family or friends. She didn't want him to die alone. She sat there holding his hand until he was gone.

Add HIPPA to the stresses of nursing. No matter how distraught your family members are over you, and how much the nurses heart goes out to you, she is NOT allowed to discuss her patients with anyone. It's the law. She can be fined, fired and even have her license revoked for sharing personal information with anyone other than the patient. Yet, the family frequently retaliates to that news with anger and hostility.

Let's look at personal sacrifice. Nurses are required to work weekends and holidays. While most people are at home having a delicious Thanksgiving Dinner with their families, the nurses have left theirs to go to work. It's sad to hear the nurses on the telephone asking their kids if Santa came, how many Easter Eggs they found on the Hunt, or how they liked the fireworks display on the 4th of July. They have to give up so many special times and occasions with their families... because sickness never takes a holiday. They are nurses. Throughout my own kids lives, they thought holidays only came every other year.

No matter what is going on in the life of a nurse, she is expected to leave her problems at the door. She can't take the chance that her worries will interfere with her care. So what if her mother has just been diagnosed with cancer? If her husband may be cheating on her? If her teenagers are out drinking or maybe taking drugs? She has her patients to worry about this shift.

And what does the nurse get for her efforts? Free medical care for herself or her family? No. She pays every bit as much as anyone off the street. Free or reduced prices for prescription medicines? No. A great pension plan so that when she's old enough to retire she can do so without worry? No. Most nurses continue to work until they are in their late seventies. Bear in mind that a career frought with lifting, turning and assiting patients in and out of bed have left her with severe back pain. Not to mention foot pain from endless hours of standing on her feet. Yet, despite the constant pain from years of hard, laborous work, nurses work much longer than the average person. I can't tell you how many nurses I knew who worked until they suffered a stroke or a heart attack. Some while on the job.

Nurses do look out for one another. They donate vacation time to other nurses who need time off but have no time left of their own. They hold fund raisers for those who are suffering financial difficulties. They rally to the side of a fellow employee who has lost a loved one.

Yes, nurses are a special breed of angels. For most people, a nurse is the first person they see after they are born, and the last person they see before they die.

I want to take this opportunity to tell every nurse I know, how special she/he is. I want them to know that they have saved lives and helped patients to recover. Their touch will be felt by almost everyone at some point. Thank you, Angels Of Mercy, thank you. I pray that if you ever need it, another nurse will be at your side when you need them.

Speaking Of Worrying...

2010-04-15T13:49:00.000-04:00

I have always been a worrier. I probably worried about the other babies in the nursery shortly after I was born.There's nothing I haven't worried about. My family and friends. Co-workers. Neighbors. Patients and their families at my work. Celebrities. Politicians. Foreign governments. Global Warming.

Rain forests. Animals on the endangered species lists. Missing Children.

I worry about my own health and everyone else's. The Deficit. Our troops. The American Economy. Crime. The unemployed. Will there be Social Security when I'm old enough to retire? Violence in schools and bullies. Sex offenders. My Landlord. The guy who is installing the new windows in my complex. The girl who recently got evicted. The list goes on and on.

Sometimes I worry that I'm not worried enough. Or that I haven't worried about something I should have been worried about. It bothers me when I see other people who don't seem to be worried at all. I worry that their lack of worrying will cause future catastrophes.

I wonder if I believe that worrying will prevent bad things from happening, or lessen the degree. Sort of like a Catholic's Purgatory. If you say enough prayers while you're living, you won't have to spend as much time in Purgatory after you die.

I worry that my anxieties might be a... problem. I suppose I could seek counciling or go on medication. But then I'd have to worry about making appointments, getting there and the adverse effects of anti-anxiety agents on my body.

Somebody has to do the worrying. Don't worry. I got your back!

Face Book

2010-04-14T14:53:00.000-04:00

I've only been an avid participant on Face Book for a little over a year now, but I can hardly remember life without it. In some ways, Face Book has deepened my present relationships and revived old ones. In just a few minutes, I can see what every single friend is up to, hoping to do and already done. There are pictures of them and their families. I can see what kind of movies, music and recipes they enjoy. I'm right there when they get any kind of news, good or bad, and can offer words of encouragement, praise, prayers and congratulations.

I can't help but wonder if all this knowledge is... unhealthy. I now worry about more things and people than I ever did before. Are John and Cathy drinking too much? Will Kathy's mother be alright living by herself in Florida? What if she really starts a fire next time? Is Donna making a mistake moving to Tennessee? It's great that Lisa K is traveling so much, but is she safe? Maybe Mina shouldn't have taken that BF back again. I'm not the only one who thinks that... there were many comments when she broke off with him. What if Nicole can't sell her house? When will Sara's next book be out? Will her sister become a star now that she moved to LA? Jackie works too much. Will someone give Walt a ride home from the dentist after he gets his wisdom teeth extracted? I hope Rose does well in school. Jude is going to miss her grandson so much. Rupal will make such a good mother someday. Her brother-in-law IS a PIA. Sharon's still in pain after her surgery. Bonnie is having strange dreams. Are Brad's teeth really whiter in that un-retouched photo? Jeanette's mother doesn't like what she's wearing in one of her videos. Jen graduated and got a new job. We'll miss her. Theresa got married? Let me see what he looks like... Amy's baby is adorable. Cathy and Ray are going to Disneyworld. Deneen's pregnant! Joe K got fired for being in a coma! Lisa V wants someone to adopt a cat. Denna's so tired. Shirley sure plays a lot of games. Awww! My son and his wife are writing little love notes to each other. OMG! If my daughter leaves that picture of herself up there, I'll have to kill her.

The hours creep by. I'm still reading. Face Book is addicting.

Vote For Me!

2010-04-12T11:55:00.000-04:00

I recently entered the 'This Old House' contest. I submitted several pictures of the absolutely amazing renovation of my friend Ray's house, several years ago.

When I met Ray, his house was practically falling down. His lawn was an over-grown jungle, hiding it from view (which many neighbors were thankful for). The porch was sagging. The mail had to be delivered to a box resting on the bottom step, as any attempt to climb the steps might cause it to collapse. The cedar-shake shingles were cracked and covered with ivy. Most of the windows didn't open. The master bathroom was covered in mold. There was no closet in the master bedroom.

Fearing for my safety while I was living there, my kids encouraged us to renovate the property. Luckily, my son, Joe Vance, Jr. ran his own home remodeling company. It took us nearly a year, but the results were amazing!

Ray's house was across the street from a park. As the renovations progressed, many joggers yelled words of encouragement. When it was finished, some even stopped and applauded!

Take a moment to view the before and after pictures. If you think our project is a winner, please vote for us. One vote per Internet address per day. The contest is over at the end of May. Rate us a "100", then hit the 'Submit' button. Thanks!

https://youroldhouse.thisoldhouse.com/submission.jsp?id=95537

Ray's house before the renovations!

Fantastic, eh? Please vote!

Vance Home Remodeling

Guest Interview: Denyse Bridger

2010-04-02T06:00:00.010-04:00

I am so excited to have a very talented and successful writer as my Guest today. Please welcome Denyse Bridger! Feel free to ask a question or leave a comment.

1) With over 400 stories and books to your credit, you are quite an accomplished writer. Do you have a favorite? What made it so memorable for you?
I have several favourites among my many books, but weirdly enough they're not the ones that sell best! Which clearly means I'm not the one to judge it in any respect. My best-seller is one I'm not overly wild about, but my personal favourites sell very little - even though I think they're better written. Among my personal choices are my Historical Fantasy, AS FATE DECREES. (I'm doing an all-day event at Bitten By Books on April 19th related to this novel, by the way). FATE is available everywhere in book stores and online stores, so it's my "biggest" novel to date. In the ebooks, I think two of my best are the Victorian era mysteries that I wrote called THE DEVANE FILES. I seem to do popular vampires, as well!! FATE is memorable for all the obvious reasons, first major release, first real book launch party at a bookstore, nominated for a major fantasy award six months after release, all of those things are unforgettable. DEVANE is memorable because I got to marry a lot of interests in those books, give them a sensually erotic touch, and a hero who is flawed but so appealing. He's a clairvoyant police inspector who is addicted to opium, and haunted by the Jack the Ripper murders. Makes him something very special in many ways.

2) I see that you are a Gemini, too. Do you think astrological signs have anything to do with writing ability or luck in the publishing business?
I'm not really much of a believer in astrology. I think all people possess some element of the Divine in their personalities, and I do believe each of us is born with a "gift" - be it writing, painting, singing, whatever art is your passion. Luck is just Fate or Destiny, isn't it? At least that's my belief. I think we are, each of us, where we are meant to be, when we're meant to be there - you can choose your path, but whatever choices you make, you end up where you were Fated to be.

3) Do you ever base your characters on real-life people?
Sometimes, yes, but always with their permission. The heroes of two of my upcoming stories are real men that I know. One is a soldier, and there's a book trailer done for his story, called "Viper's Nest" - you can see it on my YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/denysebridger -- My first release with Moongypsy Press in May is called "Games of Seduction" and the trailer for that is also done - watch for an image of the real hero in that one, too. Viper is based on a real soldier, and he's supplied the images in the video. I usually allow my heroines to have one single trait that is based on me, be it a hair colour, or a mannerism - I find this grounds the character and makes them real to me, so.... it helps write them.

4) I noticed that you have many different publishers. Why? Would you advise new authors to do the same?
I like to experiment with many genres, and not every publisher wants a dozen different types of stories by the same author. Also, some publishers love short stories, others hate them, so there are times when I create a short piece that I don't want to expand, and I need a publisher who likes to put the shorter tales out there, as well as the novel length ones. I think every author needs to explore publishers and see where they will fit best. The thing is, be honest with yourself, until you have some kind of track record or reputation, you cannot pick and choose overmuch. You need to find a publisher who will take a chance on you, then work from there. Many new authors forget, this is a business first and foremost, and you are not gifting a publishing house with your work, they are doing you the service of taking a chance on your ability to better their business. Work with your editors with the understanding that this is for your benefit, not theirs - if you think otherwise, they have a thousand other authors all too eager to take your place and be easier to work with while they do it.

5) Who were your favorite and least favorite characters? Why?
Michael Devane was one of my favourite characters, and Amarantha from my fantasy novel. Or are we talking other authors' characters? If we're talking other authors, my favourite fictional character of all time is Sherlock Holmes, and one of my favourite female characters is Scarlett O'Hara. One is brilliant, and the other is the wonderful mixture of beauty, brains, and sheer determination of will that we all wish ourselves to possess. I dislike any character that is deliberately stupid, but otherwise I rarely dislike anyone or anything intensely.

6) When you write a particularly moving scene, does it bring you to tears?
Only once, and that was more of a self-catharsis than anything else. I cried my heart out while I wrote it, and I've never been able to read it since then. Otherwise, since I don't read my own work and never have, I can't say that I know I've written anything particularly moving, you'd have to ask someone who's read my books to get an honest answer to that question, Lisa!

Thanks so much for having me today as your guest. If anyone has any questions, ask away - and visit my website and look around - lots of cool stuff there.... book trailers, freebies, postcards to send, a guestbook to sign, link to my newsletter... and books - of all types! I'll grab a name at the end of the day and if there's a title that looks good to you, mention it in your comment, and include your email - you might find a surprise in your mailbox tomorrow morning!!

Talk to you throughout the day!!
Hugs to all,
Denysé

http://www.denysebridger.com

Denysé Bridger
Website http://www.denysebridger.com
BLOG: http://fantasy-pages.blogspot.com
Romantic Moments (Free Reads): http://www.romanticmoments.webs.com
Sensual Treats Magazine: http://www.sensualtreats.webs.com

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/denysebridger
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/denysebridger
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/denyse.bridger
Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Romance-and-Fantasy/458701180391

Thanks so much, Denyse! I wish you continuing success!

The Less-er Me

2010-04-01T11:35:00.000-04:00

The road to a healthier lifestyle starts with one small step. I cleaned out my kitchen cabinets and threw away everything that wasn't healthy. By the time I finished, there was nothing left. I decided that I had to go food shopping. That's a task I only engage in once or twice a year. McDonald's is right behind my condo, and I usually eat in the hospital cafeteria.

By the amount of people in Shop Rite I have to assume that many people still cook and use real food. I know I shouldn't have gone food shopping when I was hungry. But what choice did I have? All of my cupboards were bare. Think healthy, I told myself. Temptation was everywhere. Grapes, juicy peaches, plums and bananas in the fruit section. Ice cream in with the frozen foods. Lucky Charms in the cereal aisle. Ready Whipped Cream and tapioca pudding in the dairy section. They even had chocolate chip mousse behind the counter with the lunch meats in the Deli.

The hardest part was walking through the Bakery Section. I bet they have a bakery in heaven. There is nothing on earth like the smell of cinnamon. I saw blueberry muffins with sugar crumb topping. Strawberry Short Cakes. Cherry Danish. Chocolate layer cake with butter cream icing. The temptations were almost too much to bear. Actually they WERE too much. If I didn't have a scheduled meeting at work today, I'd still be there. Only a SWAT Team and a sharp shooter would have been capable of taking me out. Shoppers would have grabbed their children and run to the exit doors, fearing for their very lives. The store manager would have begged me over the intercom not to rip open any more packages of sticky buns. Newscasters would have interviewed my neighbors on live TV. "She seemed like such a quiet woman.... We're totally shocked." The surveillance cameras would have shown me clutching a Jewish Apple Cake to my chest. Eyes wild and glazed. Melted chocolate and powdered sugar all over my face. "Come any closer and I'll eat another one! I mean it!"

I can do this. I am the master of my own destiny.The skinny woman inside of me is screaming to get out. Sigh! I am going to untie her and remove her gag.

The Even Bigger Picture...

2010-03-31T15:02:00.001-04:00

Alas, my 55th birthday is almost upon me. My daughters are excited because I now qualify for a discount at many of the stores they shop in. Yea, me.

With the birthday, comes the ominous signs of rapidly approaching old age. Not much I can do to stop it, but I guess I could try to slow it down a little. I have many options to chose from. Number One would be to quit smoking. Again. Soon. Yes, soon. I will commit to plan to quit. There. I feel better already. That wasn't too hard. Number Two. Lose weight. I'm sure that won't be as much fun as gaining it but, I need to do it.

Some people would say I am procrastinating by sitting here writing an entry in my Blog instead of working out or planning a calorie diary. They would be right, but I have a very good reason. Even though I 'm not actively losing any weight at this particular moment, I'm not actively gaining any weight either. I'm making progress already!

Personally, I find it extremely annoying when I hear one of my anorexic friends say that they have to lose 5 pounds. How the hell hard is THAT?

So... just to keep this interesting, let me tell you what trials and tribulations I feel lie ahead of me. I have to lose a minimum of 30 pounds despite being a born again, totally committed, outrageously zealous, fanatically loyal carbohydrate addict and chocoholic. Reducing even a fraction of fat, calories and carbs would be physically painful for me. ELIMINATING them will be nearly impossible.

I'm currently on hormone replacement therapy for menopause symptoms. They do help, but I am still suffering with borderline terroristic mood swings, and hot flashes. Why this extreme rise in body temperature doesn't increase your metabolism, is beyond me. These hormonal fluctuations make me ravenous most of the day, and regularly wake me up at night. As for exercise, there is no chance that I can develop, find or purchase any amount of stamina, endurance, physical strength or coordination. I have tried bicycling, skating, tennis, jogging, swimming, and golf. Unfortunately each activity proved to be personally challenging to me. I am a klutz with no sense of balance, who has the uncanny ability to fall over at any given moment. I have always missed every ball in every sport I ever attempted to play and I have a phobia of wasps, bees, and great white sharks. I have 3 slipped disks in my back so I'm always in some degree of pain. My cholesterol level is 340... and that's AFTER taking medication to bring it down.

So, although I clearly have a lot of reasons to get myself into better condition, those same reasons are going to make it a lot harder to get there… (stay tuned)

Happy Birthday, Lee!

2010-03-29T10:50:00.000-04:00

It seems like only yesterday that I brought my oldest daughter home from the hospital. I was barely more than a child myself, but I was determined to be a good mother.

Today, my baby girl stands before me, as a 35 year-old woman. Where did the time go?

She is everything I always hoped that she would be. Beautiful, kind, caring, thoughtful, creative and funny. She has fought many battles, but none have crushed her spirit.

I am so proud of the person she has become. I truly don't know what I would do without her. She is so much than she thinks she is. I wish she could see herself through my eyes.

Happy Birthday, Lee! May your life be filled with happiness and love. You are more than my daughter... you are my Best Friend!

On Death and Dying Part 3 of 3

2010-03-26T06:00:00.002-04:00

So... after the Obituary is in the paper, the Viewing is over and your eulogy recited, where are YOU going to spend the rest of eternity?

I'm still undecided. It's forever you know. It's not like you can change your mind after you're there. I think I'm definitely against burial. It's cold, dark and wet. There are bugs. Plus, I know my family will feel compelled to traipse out to the cemetery to visit me, and I don't want any of their holidays to include a trip to the grave yard.

I guess that leaves cremation, but where do I want my ashes? I always loved the movie, 'The Bridges of Madison County'. I thought it was so romantic when Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep had their ashes mingled together and scattered off a local bridge so they could be together forever. Unfortunately, there is no leading man in my life at this time. I suppose there's still a chance that I have yet to meet my geriatric knight in rusty armor, but what if I don't?

The idea of being scattered in an exotic place is intriguing, but there's no guarantee where you're going to... land. I'd hate to spend eternity on the windshield of an old truck that just happened to be driving by at the time of the toss.

Perhaps, the 'wall' in a columbarium is the way to go. If I choose one now, before I actually need it, I could check out my future 'neighbors'. Get a head-start on my eternal social 'after-life'. Plus... I could pick out a really beautiful urn for myself. The kids would probably still feel obligated to visit, but at least the columbarium is heated and air-conditioned.

I just hope they remember that my new neighbors may be watching when they do. I'd hate to over hear, "Oh my GOD! Did you see what her daughter was wearing? To visit her mother's GRAVE!? Good thing she was DEAD already!"

On Death and Dying Part 2 of 3

2010-03-25T06:00:00.002-04:00

So... what DOES one wear when hosting your own Viewing? I guess it doesn't matter if you've worn it before, or even if someone else is wearing the same exact outfit. You can't really die of embarrassment since you're already dead. However... whatever you're wearing, you going to be wearing it FOREVER. So you better like it. A LOT.

I'm still undecided between cremation and burial. This is a decision one must make ahead of time. Mausoleums are a nice idea, but you have to worry that yours might become the hangout for the local teenagers on the weekends. I've seen many caskets exhumed on forensic television shows and it appears that water frequently seeps into them. A leaky basement is bad enough. I couldn't stand being cold and wet.

If I'm cremated, I'd like my ashes placed into a columbarium. That's a building in the cemetery where the walls have slots to house urns. I don't want my kids to be burdened with my ashes, or if I'm married at the time of my death, have to worry that his new wife will suck me up with the vacuum. The columbariums look like condos for dead people. I'm sure that there must be all kinds of activities planned for the dearly departed residents. Week-end picnics for the relatives. Easter egg hunts for the grand-kids. Contests for the Most Festive Holiday Decorations on a Tombstone. Ghostly Tours on Halloween... Yeah.

I've always wanted a nice Viewing. A really fun one. With live music, good food, imported chocolate, decorations, drinking, singing and dancing. I envision a band escorting me to the cemetery like they do in New Orleans with saxophones and trombones playing old gospel hymns. I want everyone to have such a good time that they look forward to going to the next funeral like mine, even if they have to host their own.

Stay tuned for Part III...

On Death and Dying Part 1 of 3

2010-03-24T06:00:00.001-04:00

With my birthday looming up, I'm starting to accept the fact that not only am I over the hill, I'm sliding down the other side of it pretty quickly. I'm not really a morbid person by nature, but I do think we should all have some sort of a plan for what lies ahead.

Since I got married when I was 16 years old, I not only missed out on a wedding, I never got to go to the prom either. So, I guess the one day in my life, where I will shine, where I will be the center of attention, where all eyes will be on me, will be at my... funeral. It is rather irritating to think that on my glory day I'll be DEAD, and I probably won't look so good, but I'll do the best I can.

I may require a little help at that time. Could somebody find me a make-up artist who doesn't use a spatula to smear it on for heaven's sake? And give the hair dresser a picture of me on a good hair day. There MUST be one somewhere. I'm sure I won't like my profile any more after I'm dead, so tilt my face to the side. False eyelashes would be a nice touch. And a manicure. Whatever you do, make sure I'm wearing a BRA. I do NOT want to look saggy in my casket. Replace my high-heeled shoes with fuzzy slippers before you put me under.

I'm a Team Player so I'll do my part, too. If I have any say in it whatsoever, I will try my very best not to die when it's bitterly cold outside. Or swelteringly hot. Actually, I'll try not to die at all, but if I have to go, I'll try to be weather conscious. I'll aim for a day that isn't anyone's birthday, anniversary, graduation, wedding, or annual holiday. If I do go on someone's important day, please try your best to make light of it. You know a good sense of humor has always been one of my best qualities and it would be nice to always be remembered that way, too.

Stay tuned for Part II...

Guest Author: Angela Kay Austin

2010-03-23T01:56:00.000-04:00

Please welcome Angela Kay Austin,

author of 'Love's Chance'.

1) Tell us a little about 'Love's Chance'.

'Love's Chance' is an idea that came to me based on a lot of what I saw and experienced while living in Central Pennsylvania. The characters, I believe, are at that time in their lives where they have to begin to think about that next step in life. The story follows them as they search their hearts to determine what they are willing to do for love. What is the balance between work, love and family?

2) Do you have a favorite genre? Is there one you'd secretly like to try?

Honestly, I love Contemporary Romance. Why? Because I love taking a peek into ordinary people's lives. Not millionaires living fantastically or the make believe, but ordinary people like me in everyday ordinary situations finding true happiness and love. It seems like every time you turn on the news you see another person going through pain or heartache, or there's another disaster. Just seeing ordinary people have happy lives is exciting. But I do have to admit that for similar reasons, I love Sci-Fi/Paranormal. Vampires/Werewolves, magic, other worlds. Whoa! How absolutely exciting that world seems.

3) Do you ever base your characters on real-life people?

No, but composites of things I've read, seen, heard about, imagined and experienced... sure. I think everything around us can be used to craft a story. And, I like using things that are relatable to my Readers. I want them to feel like they know the characters. They could be their neighbors, relatives, friends, or maybe them.

4) If you write a particularly moving scene, does it bring you to tears?

I have an unpublished short story I am submitting to different publishers that brought me to tears. The abuse and pain touched a nerve for me because I love children, and the hurt and loss is done to and of children. I didn't intend for it to be done, but I wrote it as I felt it, and I actually deepened the story idea based on some feeback from my mother. The results truly surprised me.

5) Are you working on another novel now?

Yes, I'm working on a few other interracial pieces, and some mainstream novels. I work full-time, and as a result, I don't always have the time that I'd like to write, but I take as much time as I can at night to sit and work on the different story ideas. I'm submitting a few different pieces; maybe your Readers will see something soon. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

To pay back her parents and prevent the loss of their family business, Sinclair Mosley leaves her family and friends behind. Pennsylvania doesn't welcome her with open arms, but Chance O'Malley does. At the risk of losing everything that brought her to Pennsylvania, including her family's restaurant, Sinclair must decide if she's willing to take a chance on love.

Thank you, Angela! It was a pleasure to interview you today. The best of luck with your writing.

Love's Chance - Available NOW from Red Rose Publishing

Angela can be found at:

www.AngelaKayAustin.com

www.Facebook.com/AngelaKayAustin

www.MySpace.com/AngelaKayAustin

Guest Author

2010-03-21T09:57:00.002-04:00

This Tuesday, March 23rd I have the honor of interviewing Angela Kay Austin, author of 'Love's Chance'. Please stop by and leave a comment, or ask a question.

I Shoulda Seen It Coming

2010-03-17T13:42:00.000-04:00

When I first met him, he belonged to my oldest daughter. I thought he was attractive and almost... foreboding. He was quiet and kept to himself. Once my kids were grown, I never thought I'd share my home with anyone else. But there he was. Lisa didn't have much time for him, and to be truthful, she didn't keep up with his needs. Not that he had many, but the ones he did have were important to him.

One day, Lisa casually asked me if I wanted him. I was surprised. She said she was fond of him, but she didn't want to see me living alone. She knew that I would be a better match for him. Reluctantly, I agreed. I took him home with me that very day, and we had been living together ever since.

He never disapproved of anything I did or didn't do. He didn't ask much of me, in fact, the few minutes a day that I shared with him, seemed to be enough.
He was a great listener. Most of all... he was faithful. I always knew where he was and what he was doing. I'd see him glancing at my friends from time to time, but he was content sharing his life with only me.
The fact that we were from different continents only heightened our interest in each other. He was beautiful, both inside and out.

I knew he wasn't feeling well lately. I could see it in his eyes. I thought he was depressed, and tried to cheer him up every chance I got. His illness was more serious than I thought. It was physical.

I now question my nursing skills. I found him dead this morning. It was apparent that he had been dead for at least a few days. Yet, I didn't notice and kept leaving food for him. How could a nurse ignore a complete lack of vital signs?

Yes, Kahn Mahn, my beta fish is gone. His empty tank now tugs at my heart strings.

I'm A Guest Blogger!

2010-03-16T10:11:00.004-04:00

Denyse Bridger, author of over 400 books and stories, has invited me to be a guest on her Blog today. Please stop by and leave a comment or ask a question. Thanks!

http://fantasy-pages.blogspot.com/

Re-Scheduling

2010-02-26T17:24:00.004-05:00

Damn this New Jersey weather. It's almost MARCH for crying out loud! Due to today's storm, we had to re-schedule the 'Passing Whispers' Photo Shoot, scheduled for tomorrow. Needless to say, I am extremely disappointed. But, that's life. I'm hoping for April 24th.

My thanks and apologies to everyone involved in the Project. Don't worry... we'll get it done.

Always looking for something productive to do, I have joined with a group of writers to promote romance stories. Shhh! Take a peek when no one is looking!

Quiet On The Set!

2010-02-25T12:43:00.002-05:00

I'm really getting excited now. In two days we'll shoot the 'Passing Whispers' Book Trailer. The locations are booked and I have a very detailed story line to follow. The props are packed and all the costumes are ironed. My daughter, Christina, will get her manicure, pedicure and eye lash application tomorrow. Our leading man is already en route from Florida. Filming will begin at 9AM. We're expecting another big snow storm here in Jersey, but I hope it isn't raining or snowing while we're traipsing through the park and the cemetery. I'm sure we'll all have a lot of fun. Stay tuned for the Behind The Scenes Photos and story.

Persistence Pays!

2010-02-20T15:43:00.002-05:00

It pays to be persistent! I found a local housing development who was happy to give me permission to use their sample home in my photo shoot next weekend. That was a relief. All the details are falling into place. I think the hardest part will be pulling it all together in a video. Thank goodness I have Mike Lizzio, a friend and videographer to help me.

It's been very exciting planning the photo shoot. I couldn't have done it without my friends and family, and God, of course!

Next weekend I will post the pictures of filming the shoot. I'm sure everyone will have a lot of fun!

Set Backs

2010-02-12T13:25:00.003-05:00

I don't know why I thought everything would go smoothly. For some reason, none of the sample homes will let me do the photo shoot on their properties. I guess free advertising with no effort isn't enough of an incentive.

I will just have to do the indoor photos in my own condo. It's not nearly as large, spacious and well lit as the sample homes, but it's available. And free.

This weekend I am planning to scout out a local cemetery. I'm hoping to find a tombstone with a few of the letters of the last name 'SORRA'. That's the main characters last name, and it's supposed to be his tombstone. The model can obscure the other letters with her body if necessary. Hopefully, the family of that dearly departed soul won't be visiting on the day of the photo shoot.

Search For The Perfect Sample House

2010-02-08T16:11:00.002-05:00

The photo shoot for my book trailer is scheduled for February 27th. I'd like to take a few photograhs in a sample house. These types of houses have professional interior decorating, which make a more beautiful back-drop. They are also clean and empty. No need to inconvenience a home owner. They are also spacious and usually have plenty of good lighting.

However, in asking several local builders for permission to take pictures in their sample homes, I have met resistance. Some wanted to charge me, even though I don't require anything from them, and will not disrupt the furniture. I only need an hour and would not interfere with any prospective buyers touring the property. Some declined because there might be "insurance issues". One thought I was a wacko for even asking.

I would give the builder credit at the end of the book trailer video. I would think any free advertising would be an incentive, but once again, I am wrong. I'm still waiting for a final answer from my favorite builder, so there's still hope.

Worst case scenario, I will just shoot the indoor pictures in my own condo.

I initially thought that I could photoshop a picture of a robber into a picture of a convenience store, thus eliminating the possibility of the fake robbery being mistaken a s a real one. I was afraid that we would all get arrested or shot by a police officer or SWAT Team. A high-tech friend of mine has advised me that if both pictures do not have the same lighting, it won't look authentic. The chances of both pictures sharing the same lighting are slim. I guess I'll try, and see how it turns out.

Planning

2010-01-27T13:09:00.002-05:00

The Photo Shoot for the 'Passing Whispers' book trailer will take place February 27th. There will be two photographers. One to do the shoot, and one to take pics of the shoot! I thought that might be interesting to see how it unfolds.

I need to do a story line. Perhaps make a time line of the various locations so that we don't traipse all over town unnecessarily. Although I initially thought we'd do the indoor shots inside my condo, I have a better idea. There are some lovely sample homes nearby, that have professional interior decorating. I'm going to ask their permission to take a few shots inside of the homes.

Detective Endel Sorra is killed right after he walks into a convenience store, on his way home from work. He didn't know there was a robbery in progress. I would love to get a shot of him walking into the store, smiling, followed by a shot of the teen aged shooter, holding his gun up. I could always ask the manager of a local store, but I have a few concerns. What if a local cop happened to be driving by, and saw the shooter holding up his gun? He might think it was an actual robbery, and someone might get hurt. It would probably take less than a minute to capture the picture, but I would never forgive myself if anything happened. An unwitting customer may also come upon the scene, and panick. Darn. I wish I could think of a way to do it.

Progress

2010-01-20T16:10:00.007-05:00

Good news! I won't be writing my future novels from prison! I got the license to use the melody 'I'll be Home For Christmas' as the background music for my book trailer. I found a wonderful and talented high school student (Dustin DeBernardo) to play the saxophone. When I approached him with the project, he said that the song had always been special to him. He recently lost his grandmother, and he used to play it for her all the time. His mother (Stacey DeBernardo) a music teacher, plays the piano. They are working on a duet that will be taped at a local recording studio. God works in mysterious ways. Who needs Kenny G? This will be even better.

Costantino Funeral Home has agreed to allow me to do a photo shoot at their facility. I have two models who will play the parts of the main characters in the book. My lovely daughter, Christina Vance, will play the part of Kate Sorra.

Our friend (and professional model) Brad Smith, will play the part of Endel Sorra. Through some other mutual friends I found Len Romano, our official photographer.

Once we shoot the pictures, and record the music, I will put it all together and make a video. It will be available on FaceBook, YouTube, my Web Page, and this Blog.

This is all new to me, but it's very exciting. I'll keep you posted!

Stuck

2010-01-12T13:00:00.002-05:00

In case I don't get Kenny G's permission to use his rendition of 'I'll Be Home For Christmas' as the background music for my book trailor, I have a few very talented teenagers who are willing to record it for me. However, I need to find out who has the publishing rights and copyright to the song. It's proving to be a very difficult task. The music industry is very possessive. I discovered that even if a small business wanted to use a particular song (s) as the background music for the customers to listen to while they are on hold, you have to have a license. You even need a license to play elevator music! This leads me to believe that I will have to pay a fee to use the music, if I find out who holds the copyright. Unless I want to risk a large fine and/or imprisonment. Hmmmmm. Decisions, decisions.

Plan B

2010-01-10T12:55:00.002-05:00

I have decided that if Kenny G won't allow me to use his rendition of 'I'll Be Home For Christmas' in my book trailor, I should have a Plan B. Maybe I can find a friend who has a son or daughter who plays the sax well. I could record them playing it, and if they let me, I can use their version in the trailor.

I usually like to have Plan B's. A lot of the time, Plan B seems to work just as well as the original Plan. For instance:

Original Plan: Get married at age 16 and live happily ever after. Plan B: Get divorced 28 years later. It's lonely, but many good things have come out of it. My daughter Tina, never would have met my grandson's father if we had stayed married. I can't imagine life without Brandon.

Original Plan: Become a Stand-Up Comic and get rich and famous. Plan B: Give up comedy and become a writer. I like this plan much better. I was too shy to do live performances.

So, always have a Plan B!

Passing Whispers

2010-01-08T14:36:00.002-05:00

Since I plan to share my venture into having a book published, I should let you know a little about the book.
Here's the synopsis:

When Detective Endel Sorra is killed during a robbery shortly before Christmas, the lives of his loved ones are shattered.

One year later, his wife Kate, bitter, angry and full of hatred, continues to blame herself for his tragic death. Hector Ramos, the store clerk who was also shot in the robbery, must spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. Jake Conway, the teenage shooter, overcome with guilt for his crime, commits suicide. He leaves behind his girlfriend Jenna, who is seven months pregnant. After she dies of a heroin overdose, the baby is left to be raised by Jake's mother. She is a foul, uncaring drunk who keeps him solely for the extra cash she gets in her monthly welfare check. Having lost their only child, Endel's parents face the heart-wrenching reality that they will never become grandparents.

It will take nothing less than a miracle to repair these broken lives. When Kate Sorra comes across the Snow Globe that her husband had given to her the first Christmas they were married, she gets that miracle.

Endel finds a way to come back to her, and over the course of two weeks he guides her in learning the truth about his death and other relationships in her life that are keeping her from being happy.

Kate’s relentless grief has blinded her to the pain that her husband’s death has caused everyone else around her. With Endel’s support and encouragement, she begins to understand the circumstances that led Jake Conway to commit the robbery, and accepts the fact that she was not to blame. Hector Ramos teaches her how people can face devastating losses and continue to lead productive lives. Along the way Kate uncovers the details of her own father’s death years ago, and discovers the loving relationship she never knew her parents shared.

Kate enlists the help of a co-worker, Brian Morris, and together they devise a plan to renovate Hector’s house so he can be more independent. Although it’s breaking Endel’s heart to watch them fall in love, he wants Kate to go on with her life, and find the happiness he had hoped they would always share.

Although initially opposed to Endel’s suggestion that she consider adopting Jake Conway’s baby, she eventually embraces the idea, and convinces Endel’s parents to share in the love this child can bring into their lives.

In a simultaneous sub-plot, the readers get to meet Brian Morris’s family. His parents are wealthy socialites who have many secrets that they have kept hidden from him, including the fact that he is really not their son.

Kate and Endel spend one last magically romantic night together before he has to say goodbye. Finding the strength to let Endel go, Kate discovers a new purpose and meaning to her own life.

I have been keeping busy while waiting for the editing to be completed. The main characters in the story share a romantic dinner at 'Le Jules Verne Restaurant' in Paris. I just received their permission to use the name. Kate Sorra's favorite television series is 'Desperate Housewives'. It turns out that Disney owns the program. Go figure! I am waiting to hear back from them, but they make you use snail mail.

I'd like to produce my own book trailer. Since the Snow Globe plays 'I'll Be Home For Christmas', I think that would be a perfect sound tract. Kenny G's rendition is beautiful. I'm trying to find out who I could ask for permission. From what I hear about artisits, I have a feeling they won't let me use the song. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though.

The Hardest Thing

2010-01-03T22:30:00.002-05:00

I think the hardest thing a parent has to do is let their children go. Allow them to make mistakes, without rushing to their rescue. See them struggle without making things easier for them. Sometimes I wonder if I have the strngth to let them go. I know I have to let them experience life. Good and bad. It will make them stronger, more confident, and finally, more appreciative of the wonders God has given to us.
My parents were strong enough to let me go. If my mother was still here with us, she'd smile knowingly. She raised seven children with problems unimaginable. I realize now, that by letting us sort things out for ourselves, she was convincing us that we were deserving of her confidence. She knew we could do it.
In my mind, I know that if you always carry a baby, he will never learn to walk. But in my heart, I hold my breath as he struggles and falls. It's worth the pain, when you finally see him walk, run and laugh. But this knowledge is easily overlooked, especially when progress is fleeting.

I hope the experts are right.

The New Year

2010-01-03T00:31:00.002-05:00

So... here it is. The start of yet another new year. Like most people, I am anxiously anticipating a happy, productive and exciting 2010. The possibilities are endless. What could 2010 have in store for me? Romance? Travel? Success with my book 'Passing Whispers'? Will it be a year of good health? I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Of course, you don't get to be my age without becoming a little jaded. A part of me, (I try to keep it a small part) worries about the unexpected tragedies, accidents and misfortunes that could befall anyone of us. Will I be strong enough to survive? Get through it unscathed, with only minimal injuries and scars?

I guess all we can do is hope for the best, and pray that God will see us through any disasters we might find ourselves facing.

But with age, also comes an understanding that we are NOT totally powerless. We CAN make a difference. I hope that 2010 finds me an active participant. I hope I seize every opportunity to make this world a little better than I found it. If 5000 people each planted just one flower, can you imagine what a garden it would be? Together... we can do anything.

Here's to 2010 and everybody living in it. Welcome, neighbor. I got your back.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T12:30:00.006-05:00

I hope everyone
has a safe and Happy New Year!

2009-12-26T22:32:00.000-05:00

Ten Christmas's

Ten Christmas's from now
you won't remember how many lights you put up,
how many cards you got back,
or how many parties you were invited to.
It won't matter if it snowed on Christmas Eve,
or if anyone came late for Christmas dinner.
No one will recall how much time and money you spent shopping,
or how nicely you wrapped the gifts.
It won't be important anymore that your house
wasn't always neat and tidy
when company stopped by to visit.
Ten Christmas's from now
you'll only remember baking cookies with the kids, drinking hot chocolate after Christmas Mass,
and stealing kisses under the mistletoe
with the one you love.
You'll still remember visiting old friends, reading Christmas Stories to the children,
and calling your grandmother to tell her how much you loved the afghan she crocheted for you.
When you close your eyes ten Christmas's from now
you'll still be smiling when you remember the looks on their faces when your children woke up
on Christmas morning and discovered that Santa had eaten all the cookies they left out for him.
Ten Christmas's from now the only memories you'll cherish will be the ones you hold in your heart.
The smiles, the laughter, the joy, the singing,
and the hugs.

Christmas is love. Fill your heart with it.

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-23T18:56:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas,
and a Happy New Year!

I pray that God watches over you and your family
as we enter 2010

That you have joyful days
and beautiful relationships

That you enjoy laughter, song, beauty,
prosperity, peace, kindness and hope.

I pray our servicemen/women come home safe
And that their families can bear the pain of separation

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain
so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye.

Learning The Ropes

2009-12-22T12:30:00.000-05:00

I just learned that if you want to use the name of a celebrity in your book, you can do it without permission. As long as you don't say something libelous. Bing Crosy, Kate Hepburn and Spency tracey have nothing to fear.

I do need permission to make a reference to 'Desperate Housewives'. They don't have an E-mail address, so I'll have to ask via snail mail. I was surprised to learn they are owned by Disney. I can't picture the cast of 'Desperate Housewives' being there with Mickey Mouse.

I'm still waiting to hear from 'Le Jules Verne Restaurant' and 'Caribbean Cruise Lines'. They don't seem eager to write back to me. The restaurant people may not speak English though, so I'll have to give them a little slack.

I am planning to make my own book trailer. Amazing the things you can do at home these days. I'd like to take a very dramatic picture of my heroine (played by my daughter, of course) leaning over a casket, holding a rose. It will depict Kate's immense sorrow over her husband's tragic death. Of course, I don't know anyone who happens to have a casket lying around. I'll have to see if I can convince a local funeral director to let me take a picture in his place of business. I deal with many funeral homes where I work, so I'll give it a try. I'm sure they will think I'm demented. I just hope they don't call the police!

On The Road To Fame & Fortune!

2009-12-21T11:56:00.000-05:00

Here I am on the road to Fame & Fortune.

Re-Cap:

1) Wrote a novel titled 'Passing Whispers'. Check.
2) Sent it out to many, many publishing houses. Check.
3) Ate lots of chocolate to console myself when it was rejected. Check.
4) Got an E-mail from Devine Destines, informing me that they were interested in reading more than the first three chapters I had submitted. Check.
5) Devine Destinies suggested a few changes. I purchased an On-Line Editing Program to help me. Good grief. My sentences were too long, I ended many of them with prepositions, and I used WAY too many exclamation points! Took almost three months to correct my mistakes. Check.
6) Sent manuscript back in to Devine Destinies. They gave me a contract. I did the Happy Dance, and notified every living relative, friend, neighbor and creature in my life. Check.
7) I signed the contract and sent it back in. Check.
8) I applied for a copyright. It will take 9 months to get one. Check.
9) I sent requests to Carribbean Cruise Lines, Desperate Housewives, and Le Jules Verne Restaurant to allow me to mention their names in my book. Check.
10) I set up a Pay Pal Account (at the suggestion of my editor) in the event that the book sells. Check.
11) I updated my Blog so I could talk about the book (again, at the suggestion of my editor... WOW. "MY EDITOR". I don't think that will ever get old!) Check.
12) I completed the Cover Art Form and Author Information Form, and sent it back to my editor (sorry, I just love saying that). Check.
13) I started writing a screen play and discovered that I know absolutely nothing about writing screen plays. I purchased an On-Line Program to help me. Check.
14) I updated my Web Page to tell all my faithful Readers the good news. Check.

Now what?

I wish there was an On-Line Program for fame and fortune!

This Is It! At least I hope it is!

2009-12-19T17:35:00.000-05:00

It's not too often that you get to witness
your own life altering events. I did.
I was opening E-mails, and deleting most of them.

Suddenly... there it was.

The response from Devine Destinies.
They are a publishing house I was waiting to hear from
in regards to my manuscript novel. My heart immediately started to pound.
With trembling fingers, I opened it.
I peeked quickly,
just hoping for a general glimpse,
without actually reading it.
I was preparing for yet another rejection notice.
I took a deep breath.

Oh My God. Did it say what I thought it said?

YES!

I got a book contact!

It will be released as an E-Book
sometime in the next 12 months.

If it sells 200 copies in the first 60 days,
it will be printed as a paper-back.

I've waited so long for this day.

There was blood.
I can't tell you how many paper-cuts
I have gotten over the past three years.

There was sweat.
I wrote a lot of it during the summer.

And there were tears.
My computer crashed and I lost the entire manuscript.
No. I didn't have an extra copy saved
on a different computer.
But luckily, God was on my side,
and a good friend retrieved it for me.

I'm not sure where it will lead,
but I'm finally on my way!

My thanks to God,
Jay Austin from Divine Destinies,
my children,
and my special friend, Brian Morris.

Couldn't have done it without you!

Wish me luck!
Oh!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Bogie: Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine and writes that blasted book!

Ingrid: What if they make a movie out of it? Casablanca could be... replaced!

Bogie: Lisa has to do it, and we can't be any part of it. I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid

Good-Bye

2008-10-05T14:20:00.000-04:00

On October 21, 2003 I wrote my very first Journal entry. Almost five years to the day.

Like many other AOL members I shared a lot of my personal life with the world. Reading other people's Journals brought me enjoyment, laughter and sometimes, tears.

I'm happy to say that I've made many good Internet friends. I cried while watching one member lose her fight with cancer. Worried about a few Journalists who left without apparent reason, never to return again. Kept my fingers crossed while one member got divorced and tried his best to be a good father to his kids. I've prayed for one writer who sadly described her sister's slow decline into Alzheimer's Disease. Held my breath as another divorced her husband, packed up her bags and moved to L.A. to start a new life. I remain hopeful that one friend will finally find Mr. Right, and that she'll stay safe while she searches for him.

I've shared stories with new mothers, abused women and recovering drug addicts. Sat back in amazement at the profound wisdom of a certain sensitive friend from Florida. Watched people fall in and out of love. Enjoyed looking at pictures of their trips to fabulous, exotic places. I've laughed at the antics of other people's children and shared my own stories. The birth of my grandchildren, the purchase of my house, my menopausal misadventures and my On-Line Dating Site experiences.

Now, AOL has decided to put an end to the On-Line Journals, to "concentrate on more popular interests". If our Journals weren't "popular" then why did they decide to use our entries to pimp out unwanted advertisements? Once again, it was without our permission or even opinion on the matter.

Oh, they've given us "helpful advice" on how to transfer out work onto other sites, but speaking for myself, I haven't been successful as yet.

All things considered, I've had quite a good experience writing my On-Line Journal, except for one hurtful episode. Like life itself, our community has been through good times and bad. Scandals and legends. At least we'll always have the memories.

Today, on October 5, 2008, all I can say... is good-bye. Good luck to all of the Journalists who have graciously invited us into their lives and shared their experiences with us... total strangers.

And thank you. For the laughs, the pleasure of getting to know you, and for taking the time to get to know me. I'll always be grateful for the encouragement you have given to me through your comments and even occasional E-mails.

Thanks, guys. I'll never forget any of you.

In Memory of 9/11

2008-09-11T12:21:00.000-04:00

Today marks an anniversary of a day we will never forget. It brings back memories of both sadness and hope. Fear and strength. Let us remember the victims and their families today, and the sacrifices of the men and women who worked so hard to rescue them. Thanks to the talented photographers who captured the horror and the American spirit on film, we will never forget.

My oldest daughter Lisa wrote a very moving poem I'd like to share with you.

One Nation

Dedicated to those who lost their lives

in the September 11, 2001 attack on America

May God Bless you all!!

In the bright September morning

without warning to us all

A few thousand lives were shattered

and we watched two buildings fall

And a billion souls felt empty,

and the flags at half-mast fly

In the memory of the innocent

which didn’t have to die.

We’ve lost brothers, sisters, cousins.

We’ve lost family and friends

But we’ve made the choice not to forget

their lives and tragic ends

Though we’ve had our share of troubles,

we have put them all aside

As a Nation grieves we find ourselves

defending them with pride

We’re a nation of survivors

with one heart we share a tear

But we live to serve the memory,

not giving into fear

Though they try to take security

with the things they’ve done and said

All their acts of inhumanity bring unity instead

So we stand here as a family.

One Heart, One Soul, One Voice

We are challenged by this moment,

and united here by choice.

Here are a few of the photos from my

Memorial Web Site.

The skyline before the terrorist attack.

The second of two blasts to the World Trade Center.

The endless search for victims.

Police and firefighters tirelessly risk their lives for days.

No American life is untouched.

We became a nation united in prayer.

The terrorists couldn't destroy

our American spirit. It lives on. In every heart.

Young and old. Far and near.

They didn't understand...

We're AMERICANS!

God Bless America!

Tags: September 11, Memorial

A Letter to my Mother

2008-07-02T10:58:00.000-04:00

Dear Mom,
Even though you've been gone for more than three years now, I still find myself getting the urge to call you on the phone once in a while.

Then I remember.

I can't tell you how many times I wish that we could just sit down and have a cup of coffee. You were always such a great listener. The numerous tragedies, catastrophes and crisises that you faced in your life put you in a position where you always 'understood'. You never forced any advice on us, or seemed to be shocked at whatever 'situation' we found ourselves in. And you were always supportive. For some reason you had the uncanny ability to see the bright side of things, even at our darkest moments. Sadly, there were few that we didn't share with you.

But now, dealing with my latest 'difficulties' with my own daughters, I think I suddenly know you better than I did then. Raising kids is never easy and I think it's even harder when they're grown. You can't ground them or take away their allowances when they misbehave. And the problems that they face, are... exasperating at times.

I thought that our situations didn't affect you much. That once we poured our hearts out to you, we'd talk, and everyone would feel better and go on. It never occurred to me that you would spend one sleepless night over it. Or agonize over our pain. Worry what would happen. Many times I'd see you 'just relaxing with a good book' after such talks, and that seemed to assure me you were unaffected. I thought your calm demeanor indicated that, although you wished us the best, it was, afterall, our lives, and in the end, we stood alone. I'd see you enjoying a TV show, drinking a glass of brandy. How carefree I thought you were! I'd laugh. Brandy. Who drinks that? Especially a poor person whose last dollar would go to whoever needed it at the time. I remember resenting it at times. Did it not occur to me that that was your only means of escape? Would I not be satisfied until I saw you rocking back and forth weaving baskets in an asylum?

We'd blissfully close our eyes to your needs. "Mom's happy. She doesn't need much. Give her a cigarette, a good book and a glass of brandy and she's just fine." We never considered that you might long for more than that. Your own place, quiet and peaceful. We thought you enjoyed living with Steve and helping him out with his bills. Traveling the world. You were a widow. Why would you want to travel without Daddy? Your own car. You didn't need one; there was always someone who could take you wherever you needed to go. To the doctor's. As if you'd ever desired to go anywhere else.

And we never hesitated to pour our hearts out to you. We were all 'me people'. Did we never stop to think that on any given day, there were six others brothers and sisters doing the same thing? How much could you take? And it's not like we only had minor problems. God knows you could have written a book. Who did you have to turn to? Both of your parents were gone for most of those years. And all of us were too caught up in out own lives to give you any support.

I'm sorry, Mom. I know that you had dreams. Ones that went to the wayside after you gave birth to seven kids. Instead, you instilled those dreams in us. Told us time and time again to get out there and try. Nothing was impossible, you said. Quite a hefty bit of optimism considering your circumstances. I know that many a night you and Daddy went hungry so that we could eat. There just wasn't enough to go around. I'm sorry that you never had any nice clothes. That the only place you ever go to see except Philadelphia was Bermuda. A one week cruise where you spent most of it in bed because you were seasick and then got a migraine headache. I'm sorry that you never got to have one of your stories published. Youwere a great writer, Mom. I'm sorry that I didn't realize how much Daddy's death broke your heart, and how much you missed him the next fifteen years, until you joined him. I remember you telling me when I was a little girl that when you were old you were going to have a face lift if you were wrinkled. That was a pretty bold dream for those days. Only movie stars did such things. But you never did get that facelift, Mom. Never got anything for yourself.

But up until now, all I remembered where the times that you weren't there. The lousy few times that you were busy caring for all the kids that came after me, while I looked out at the audience for your face during a school play. I thought only of my own disappointment. How could you come when you were needed at home? I didn't even stop to consider the fact that you too, wished you could be there. I never saw your suffering.

We gave up on you, Mom. We let ourselves believe that it was always too late for you. That your only means of success and fulfillment came from hoping that we would someday do all the things that you had wanted to do, but never got the chance.

Thank you, Mom, for never throwing in the towel and giving up on us. Never. For always seeing the good in us, even when we couldn't see it ourselves. For all the sacrifices you made throughout your life for us. For making a big deal out of even the smallest achievement. For always being patient and having the appearance of understanding, even though I'm sure you must have wanted to throttle us many times.

I'll never be able to be the Mother that you were. You were a very special person, Mom. I'm sorry I didn't see it before this.

I miss you.

I think this weekend I'm going to curl up with a good book and a glass of brandy.

A Norman Rockwell Summer

2008-06-24T15:00:00.000-04:00

Just so no one gets the idea that everyone in my family belongs on the Jerry Springer Show, here are a few pictures to prove it. The people in the photos are actually related to me and raised by me. The smiles are genuine. And no children or Grammy's were hurt in the making of this album.

This year was my son, Joe's First Father's Day! Here he is with his wife, Bonnie and the happiest baby in the world!

Here he is practicing new 'Dare-Devil Baby Stunts' with MY ELEVEN MONTH OLD GRANDCHILD! He wonders why I have so much gray hair!

Nothing like a cool dip in the pool!

Mommy is busy cooking up our new baby sister!

Let's get WET!

Do it AGAIN, Daddy!

So there you have it. I not only enjoy normal, stress free, happy moments on occassion, but I also write about them.

Those Three Little Words

2008-06-23T21:42:00.000-04:00

I think I’m a pretty good Mom. Not the best… but… pretty good. And I find myself saying three little words to my children almost everyday. Apparently, they never get tired of hearing them.

Get a job!

I’ve whispered it, suggested it, shouted it, screamed it.. nothing works. They have a million excuses. They were sick, had a headache, sunburn, blisters, a broken toe, a cold sore, had a flat tire, there was no hot water to take a shower, the car wouldn’t start, there was no babysitter, they were having a bad hair day, they couldn’t find their resume, the printer was out of ink so they couldn’t print out a new one, they had a doctor’s appointment, the cable TV guy was coming, their best friend was having a crisis that only they could help her through, the alarm didn’t go off, someone gave them the wrong directions, they ended up at the wrong address, it was too hot and the car air conditioner wasn’t working, the roads were bad, they had written down the wrong date, they didn’t have enough gas in the car to make it there and back… the list goes on and on.

I usually have one answer to all their complaints about life.

“I’m bored.” You’ll have plenty of money if you just get a job.

“I’m broke.” You’ll have plenty of money if you just get a job.

“There’s never any food in the house.” You can go food shopping if you just get a job.

“I never meet any decent guys.” You’ll meet plenty of men if you just get a job.

“I have nothing to wear.” You guessed it. You’ll have plenty of clothes if you just get a job.

I sometimes wonder why they talk to me at all. They know what my answer will be before I even give it to them. Get a job. Too bad watching Jerry Springer and spending countless hours on YouTube and My Space doesn't count for something. They'd have a PhD by now.

I bet after Moses climbed the mountain and God gave him the Ten Commandments he added, “Moses… get a job.”

How could I have raised such unmotivated children? My son is a hard worker. What happened to his sisters? Now that they’re older they can’t afford to work for minimum wage. But since they have no real work experience, no one will pay them any more than that.

“All my friends have CAREERS.”

All your friends went to college.

“Why didn’t you make ME go?”

What? Yes. Of course. It’s my fault. What was I thinking? I’m glad that all their lying around on the couch hasn’t been for nothing. They were busy figuring out what caused their present plight. ME.

I don’t have as much time as they do, to figure out what’s causing mine. I only see one reason. I had kids. And only one answer. Get a job and move away.

Well, I already have a job. All I have to do now is find a new place to live.

Crime Scene: Do Not Cross

2008-06-23T00:23:00.000-04:00

I think there are only four times that your house has to be really, really clean.
1) When you think you've met the man of your dreams and you are inviting him over for the first time.
2) When your mother-in-law comes to visit.
3) When your house is for sale.
4) If you're found murdered. Wouldn't want the Crime Scene people to think you were some kind of a slob, now would you?

I'm not dating anyone, so I don't have to worry about number one... bringing home a man. Let alone one of my dreams. Number two is no longer an issue since I'm divorced and all my kids are grown. As far as number three goes, my house has been for sale for so long, and the market is so crappy right now, as far as I'm concerned, if any potential buyers want to see it clean, they can buy it and clean it themselves. I must admit, I do worry about number four occasionally.

My daughters have frequently heard me mumbling things like, "I swear to God if I'm murdered in the middle of the night and this house looks like this when they find me, I will haunt you for eternity!"

I'm plagued with worry. How the hell will they be able to decipher the forensic evidence? The Team will have to devote the rest of their careers to sifting though THIS mess! My kids laugh and tell me I watch too much TV. They think the police will believe that the perpetrator made the mess... not us. Crime Scene Techs are not stupid! I bet every murder victim hopes the Team will erroneously think that some madman broke in, killed us, and then spent the next few hours spilling ice tea, over flowing the hampers, filling the sink with dirty dishes, taking a bath and leaving a ring around the tub, squirting toothpaste into the bathroom sinks and spattering the mirrors with I don't even want to think about what, and pulling tufts of hair out of the cats and rubbing them onto the sofa. Yeah, right. How are they going to explain the dust? The overflowing kitty litter boxes?

In order to dust for fingerprints the Team has to eliminate all of the 'known prints' at the crime scene. They will have to go out and print every single person who has ever visited us for any reason in the past three years because GOD FORBID anyone living here might think to wipe the place clean once in a while. Now that I think about it, the thought of having to clean up afterwards might actually deter a criminal from committing a crime here.

With MY luck, TruTV would be there on the scene to film the whole thing. I can just hear the nararator making comments like, "This crime scene proved difficult to process due to the condition of the house..." In Court, the defense lawyer would ask the detectives, "How can you possibly prove that my client's DNA was deposited in the house on the night in question... it could have been there for YEARS!"

Dominick Dunn won't be interested in writing about me... I'm not one of the Powerful or Privileged. I hate to think that Stabler & Benson would have to be sent out to my Scene. I never want to be a Special Victim. Hopefully it's solved before it becomes a Cold Case. I guess they could always call in Dayle Hinman. Or maybe Columbo. Just don't call Monk. Being an avid Obsessive-Compulsive Detective, he might solve the case but they'd have to put him away forever.

How embarrassing! Oh... bury me deeper than six feet!

Do these pants make me look fat?

2008-06-21T01:03:00.000-04:00

I’ve been dieting off and on for a number of years. When I’m not dieting, I’m thinking about it. Reading about it. And I must admit that I'm fascinated by the readily accessible celebrity 'Before and After' photos in magazines. I even like to watch the infomercials on home gyms. From my couch, of course, but at least I watch.

My undoing isn’t how much I eat, but what I eat. I am a carbohydrate addict, with an underlying sweet tooth. My feeble attempts to eat a balanced diet isn’t really to keep healthy, it’s to keep me alive so I can eat more cake.

In my own defense, I don’t wear my eye glasses while I’m eating. I’ve been doing it for so long now, even though I can’t see the food clearly, I can still manage to get it into my mouth. But without my glasses I can’t see the calorie, carbohydrate and sodium amounts listed on the package. Perhaps I wouldn’t be so eager to devour what’s in the package if I knew that information. Doubtful, but possible. We’ll probably never know for sure.

Another problem is convenience. I’m just so darned busy that I don’t have time to eat properly. I eat on the run. Well, that’s not exactly true. If I really did run at the same time, I may not have to diet at all. When I’m hungry, and I usually wait until I’m ravenous, it’s just a lot easier and faster to grab something that doesn’t need to be thawed out, cooked, or even microwaved. It’s even better if it doesn’t require the use of utensils. Unfortunately for me, and many, many, many others, did I say “many”, whatever comes in that convenient little package is usually high in calories.

I've often wondered how in the world can they pack 550 calories into a Chunky Bar? It’s so tiny! How do they fit them in there? It does contain raisins however. Which is a fruit. And fruit is good for you.

When I eat cake, I drink milk. Milk is also good for you. And, I must brag a little here, lest you think me gluttonous and unhealthy, I only drink skim milk. I slowly weaned myself down from whole milk, to mixing equal portions of it with 2%, then full 2%, then equal portions of 2% and 1%, then full 1% then finally… full skim. It took me four years. That, my friends, is a prime example of steadfastly working towards a goal. The switch did entail eating more cake than usual, to prompt me to drink the milk, but in the long run, I think it was worth it. My doctor was pleased. Once in a while I do gaze longingly at a glass of whole milk in front of someone in a restaurant. It’s so white... and beautiful. Much more appetizing than the watered down look of skim, but I know that one glass, might send me spiraling back to an addiction that once was mine.

Which would interfere with the time I’ve allotted to some of my newer addictions. Like… drinking Arbor Mist Wine. Chilled White Zinfandel Melon to be more specific. One bottle can give me an entire weekend of much needed relaxation. For only $4.95. It’s a whole lot cheaper than psychotherapy, and it can be done in your own home (while watching infomercials on the couch). Did I mention that it can be enjoyed equally well alone or with friends? As long as they bring their own bottles, of course.

I was never much of a drinker when I was younger. Before I had kids. Who, I thought couldn’t get any worse than when they were as teenagers (boy, was I wrong). Now that they are adults, and have children of their own (who apparently you are also responsible for worrying about), the wine seems to make this process much more bearable.

Oh! I digress! Must be that last glass of wine. Sorry. We were in the middle of discussing diets.

My healthier and thinner pain-in-the-ass friends frequently ask me why I don’t just grab a small apple or perhaps 20 raisins instead of a pre-packaged portion of cake. One good reason is that if it wasn’t pre-portioned, I’d probably eat the whole damned thing. So, in a way… I’m making a healthy choice. Actually, it’s because I never seem to have any fresh fruit lying around when I’m hungry. If I do, it’s rotted. If they can find a way to give bananas the shelf life of a Twinkie, I’ll be happy to give that suggestion a try.

And, c’mon… let’s be reasonable here. 20 raisins? Have you ever seen the tiny pile that 20 raisins makes in the palm of your hand? Which looks even smaller when you’re ravenous. Those same 20 raisins are a lot more satisfying when they’re covered in chocolate, which by the way, is also made from milk.

As far as motivation goes, I find many more reasons to eat, then not to eat. For example, if I were to lose, say, 30 pounds, when I reached my goal, I’d just be a 53 year old skinny woman, with a lot more wrinkles. You can’t shrink skin, and at my age, I certainly don’t want any more of it lying around. If I exercised regularly, my kids would expect me to play with my grandchildren even more than I already do. And they wouldn’t feel as guilty watching me shovel the snow. Recent studies indicate that most Americans are overweight. Getting thin and fit could be construed as… unpatriotic. My friends would worry that I was dying. I don’t want that on my conscious. And to be honest… I’m nothing if not honest… healthy food just isn’t fun. Have you ever heard anyone say, “Gee… what I wouldn’t do for a Granola Bar right about now!” Or, “Honey, I made your favorite dessert tonight… tofu pudding!” No... you haven’t.

Those of you who may scoff at my ideas don’t realize the tremendous amount of thought that goes into non-dieting. And effort. My rationalization skills are far more advanced than those of my very few, skinny friends. The simple task of weighing one’s self is planned, timed and calculated. I’ve found that the best time to weigh yourself is first thing in the morning. After you‘ve peed, of course. No sense weighing something that won’t be there permanently. It must be done on an empty stomach. Why weigh your breakfast before you’ve had the chance to digest it and turn it into fat?

The number on the scale sets the mood for the entire day. If my weight is lower than I expected, I’m surprised and delighted. I usually reward myself with a big plate of blueberry pancakes with a mountain of whipped cream on top. Oh! And syrup. Some days… I’m shocked and horrified. I’m instantly depressed and ashamed of myself. And NOTHING will make me feel better than a plate of blueberry pancakes with a mountain of whipped cream on top. And syrup!

Why not? There is nothing worse on the face of this earth than being hungry AND fat at the same time.

I hope that our little talk has lightened you up a little! Pun intended. Ummm… can you pass the syrup, please?

Sweet Dreams

2008-06-16T11:54:00.000-04:00

I wouldn’t call them ‘nightmares’ exactly. More like… ‘Disturbing Dreams’. I get them all the time. One would think that even if your daily life is filled with stress, anxiety and closely related tormentors... at least when you finally fall asleep at night, you could relax and enjoy a nice dream. Nothing fancy… all I’m asking for is a dream where I’m a recluse living on a hill overlooking a valley. A babbling brook would be a nice touch… I’m not greedy. But noooooooo.

Let me tell you about last night’s dream, so you can understand the full extent of my ‘disturbance’. I dreamt I was arguing with my three grown children (where do you suppose that came from?) I told them I was tired of cleaning up the messes they made in their lives and I wasn’t going to do it anymore (You go, girl!) Then I informed them that I had let my life insurance policy drop, and now when I died, they would have to find a way to bury me on their own. Without a cent from me.

At first they were skeptical. They knew that that policy was the one where the rates never go up and I didn’t need a medical examination as long as I was under age 80. They know me, and couldn’t believe I’d just let it lapse. Once they realized I was serious, they shrugged it off, like everything else. In the dream, the day came when I passed away. I got to watch the kids scramble, trying to figure out what the heck to do with my body. They didn’t have an extra $50 between the three of them.

Lisa suggested a back yard burial. “She loved this house, and she’d be happy to be able to stay here." Never mind the fact that if I couldn’t afford the mortgage payments, how the heck could they? She might not mind having me out there, but the new owners might.

Tina thought they should get an estimate from a taxidermist, and sit me at my computer for the rest of eternity. “That’s where she’d want to be,” she added soulfully. “And maybe the stuffing will smooth out all of her wrinkles. You know she had been wanting a face lift for a long time.”

Joe said that he figured they could have a big beef and beer to raise the money. “We could have some of her old Stand Up Comic friends do a show! Roast her! She’d love it! We could invite all of the nurses at her hospital. I bet we’d raise more than enough to bury her. I can pour the concrete for her tombstone myself!”

Shockingly, the kids sat around talking about the possibilities for so long, the morgue finally called to say that if my body wasn’t out of there by the next day, they were going to have to start charging a storage fee. The kids were frantic. Once again, their procrastination and inability to compromise put them in a precarious position. The satisfaction that I received watching them squirm was short lived however.

I watched in horror as they decided to take me home, burn me to a crisp in a large industrial strength can, and then mix my ashes with hot wax to make candles. They added in a bit of Citronella so they could burn me ALL summer long and keep the mosquitoes away at the same time. It was little comfort knowing that their plan was decisive, creative, and practical.

I awoke feeling guilty that I didn’t appreciate the fact that all of my hard work in raising them had finally resulted in them solving a problem on their own... with no help from me.

What kind of mother am I? A better question might be… what kind of person dreams a dream like that? Have I lost my mind? What would a psychiatrist say?

I did learn one thing though. I’m NEVER gonna let that life insurance policy lapse!

Tags: death, dying, dreams, nightmares, children, funerals

Bend over and say "Ahhh!"

2008-06-15T23:16:00.000-04:00

Geeze! I see that’s it’s been awhile since I updated my Journal. Even I’m wondering what I’ve been up to, so I stopped by to check.

Hmmmmmmmmm. Have I met someone special? My own personal Prince Charming? Wining and dining me? Keeping me so busy that I don’t even have time to write anymore? Possibly even proposed to me in the most romantic way and whisked me off to live happily ever after? That would be a “no”. Actually, I’ve pretty much thrown in the towel and stopped looking. The only men who call me are now are bill collectors, but I am on a first name basis with a few of them. None of them want to take “no” for an answer! Call me wicked.

Have I sold the house and moved to somewhere more affordable and without the kids? Nope. Still struggling and arguing on a daily basis.

Looks like I’ve been working a lot. Don’t see any promotions or raises listed though.

Undergone any medical procedures or plastic surgeries? Unfortunately, the only one listed is my first colonoscopy a few weeks ago. Happy 53rd birthday to me. Not exactly the kind I had envisioned. “Why Lisa! Your… butt! It looks… fantastic! Have you had a colonoscopy? You have, haven’t you?!" At least it proved that I’m not too old to get a man interested in getting my panties off again. I woke up with him standing over me, smiling. Then he bent down and whispered something I’ve been longing to hear. “No polyps.” Oh, come on. A girl’s gotta start somewhere. I was so proud of my colon that I hung my colonoscopy report on my refrigerator. Actually, I’ve been seeing so much of my dentist that I almost felt like I was cheating on him with the proctologist. I did learn one thing. It’s not as bad when it’s the dentist saying, “Open wide”.

That reminds me of a story that I heard about a Texan oil baron who went to the dentist for a check-up. "I'm pleased to say your teeth are just fine," said the doctor. "I know," replied the Oilman, "but drill anyway. I feel lucky!"

I do have a bit of news that I just can't keep to myself any longer! My son Joe and his wife Bonnie must have been so excited how cute their first baby turned out that they decided to have a second one! My GRAND-DAUGHTER will be arriving in October!

I'm going to try and update my Journal more often in the future. I might even try my hand at embellishing. Who would know? Nah. Somebody’s got to step up to the plate and show you that you’re life isn’t as boring as you thought.

And it looks like I’m a natural.

Love At First Write

2008-02-29T12:01:00.000-05:00

As usual around Valentine's Day many of the Internet Dating Sites have run specials, taking advantage of the increased awareness of loneliness that frequently follows this holiday. Feeling it myself this year, and getting my Income Tax Refund at precisely the same time as a special caught my eye, I decided to join one again. As they say on TV, it doesn't hurt to look.

My first would-be suitor's favorite hobby was "dressing up like Benjamin Franklin and walking the streets of Philadelphia for fun". He included a photograph of himself, and he did indeed look like Franklin. 'Ben' did have some good points. If he ended up being a stalker, he'd be easy to spot and pick out of a police line up. But, I decided to hold off and see if there was anyone else out there. Please God. Any one else. Be careful what you ask for.

I got an E-mail from another candidate yesterday. I have copied and pasted it exactly as he sent it to me so you can see the caliber of men from which I have to choose:

Hello i;m Ray..just noticed you on this net,,,very much i liked youre write up /photo..i;m from burlington nj....love summer / fall....do you like boating?....or guitar players..??...love to hesr from you,,,until then...Ray

I was stunned. Didn't 'Ray' realize that these few grammatically incorrect sentences, filled with misspellings and erroneous punctuation usage would be the first and only impression I would have of him? Surely he'd want to impress me just a little. I sent the E-mail to my friend Brian, who being a man himself, graciously agreed to interpret it for me.

Ray's message is written in blue, Brian's interpretation in red.

Hello i;m Ray

Hello, I’m on parole.

just noticed you on this net

Your last name starts with a 'V'. All the women from A

to U have already shot me down.

very much i liked youre write up /photo

Do you have a free webcam site?

Im from burlington, nj

No closer than1,000 feet of Burlington High School to be more precise.

love summer / fall

Was incarcerated winter / spring.

do you likeboating?

Is your life insurance paid up?

or guitar players..??...

I have no known job skills.

love to hesr from you

Unless you're a parole officer

until then...Ray

Until my next hearing, Ray

Thank God Brian was able to explain this to me.

I might have passed this guy up!

My Valentine!

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

A SOLDIER'S CHRISTMAS

'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney with presents to give,
and to see just who in this little house lived.

As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.

No Stockings by mantle, just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sobering thought came through my mind.

For this house was different, it was dark and dreary,
The home of a soldier, I could now see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder,
Not how I picture a United States Soldier.

Was this the hero of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?

I realized the families that I saw this night,
owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.

Soon round the world, the children would play,
and grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas day.

They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.

I couldn't help wondering how many lay alone,
on a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.

The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to one knee and started to cry.

The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
"Santa don't cry, for this life is my choice".

I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more,
My life is my God, my country, my corps."

The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours, so silent and still,
as we both shivered from the cold night's chill.

I didn't want to leave, on that cold, dark night,
this guardian of honor, so willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
whispered, "Carry on Santa...., It's Christmas Day...., All is secure.

One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend.... and to all a Good Night.

~ Author Unknown *~

Remember Me?

* This poem is said to have been written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan. The following is his request. We think it is reasonable.....

"PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S. service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.

Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your small part to plant this small seed."

"We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us." George Orwell

This Page is Dedicated With Thanks To All Of The Men, Women and Veterans of Our Country's Armed Forces, as well as their Mothers, Fathers, Spouses, Children, and other family members who are all sacrificing for us.